Already Two Years Old and Counting

Two years ago, I began my blog without really thinking of where it would lead me.  I don’t really know why but having a blog made me look harder and deeper at everything that was happening in my life.  

I began to scrutinise and analyse what people said.  I watched TV and listened to the radio as if it was a homework assignment.  I scoured other blogs and online news portals to see what others were saying and thinking.  Always at the back of my mind, unconsciously or subconsciously, I thought of my blog and wondered, “to blog or not to blog”.

As luck would have it, less than a month from the birth of my blog, I found a “cause” I believed in.  My involvement in the anti-I.S.A. vigils that followed, gave me a weekly topic to promote and to write about.  It helped build up my confidence when people responded and commented. 

I had other bloggers guiding me, helping me, nudging me along the way.  Without their advice and support, I know it would have been more difficult so I really am glad that they shared their knowledge so unselfishly. 

Today I celebrate 730 days in existence and just over 150 blog posts.  It’s a drop in the ocean if I compare with others who have been blogging since before blogging became fashionable.  It’s a tiny scratch on the surface if I look at the top bloggers who have hits in the millions.  So I don’t do that.

I look at my blog and don’t compare with anyone.  I don’t compete either.  I feel proud that my stats are what I believe to be reasonably high.  I’m a blogger.  There have been times that people have stopped me in public to say, “Hey, I know you, you’re a blogger, I read your blog”.  At the beginning, I used to feel embarrassed but not anymore.  I am a blogger and I say that with pride.

As STEEST reaches two years, I look back and I can tell you that the highlights have not been that some posts were featured on Malaysia Today or that I’m listed under “Fabulous Blogs” or even that Global Voices invited me to write for them. 

The highlights are the friendships I’ve made. 

If I hadn’t started blogging, I’d never have found the warmth and kinship of other bloggers.  I’d have missed knowing the camaraderie of a “friend” or that of “a friend of a friend”.  Who would have guessed that great friendships could blossom from the least likely places?

I think when we write, we share a part of ourselves.  In some small way, it is a window to our soul.

To those of you who have peeped through the window, reached out and touched my life during these last two years, in one way or another, I just want to say

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

18 September 2009

A year ago, it was a Thursday and I was one of the millions of passive internet surfers, prancing from one blog or website to another. My usual routine was to go to work, come home and then switch on the computer, browse the news/blogs (wait for Stephen to get on skype), comment (sometimes), read some more and then switch off and go to bed. The next day, it would be the same again unless it was the weekend or I was in Singapore. This would only mean just a slight variation to that habit.

However, that late Thursday afternoon changed my life completely. I’d been fidgeting with blogspot but never really gotten around to typing anything. It was something alien to me and I had no idea of what to do or where to begin. What would I write about? Who would want to read? Where would I even start? Credit must be given to the fact that blogspot is user-friendly and because I followed the instructions, I was able to put out my first posting at 6.35 pm. Tentatively.

With that, the thrill of seeing one’s own work in cyberspace gripped me. Hook. Line. And sinker. For a second, I sat at the computer, waiting…. waiting…. nothing happened. If you are new to blogging, you’ll be able to relate to this.

Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait very long. The moment, I told Stephen, he lovingly put the very first comment in. I felt so accomplished *laughs now*. Yeah, okay, that was a bit melodramatic!

Then, just like that, other comments trickled in and gave me a bit more confidence. Finally, it was my cautious participation at the first candle light vigil that sealed the cap of my blogging initiation.

I found that I could write about the vigils and people wanted to read them. I had loads of encouragement from strangers (who are now such dear friends). What would my life be, today, if I had just given in to that moment of hesitation to send my posting out into the blogosphere? I cannot imagine.

So much has happened. So much has not happened. I’ve met some of the blogger friends in real life. Some I may never ever meet. Many have become very close to my heart.

What lessons have I learnt this last year? I’ll tell you.

I’ve learnt that

-There are good people out there.

-Not every stranger is an enemy.

-Hope is not dead.

-United we must stand.

-Love is all we need.

18 September 2009 falls on a Friday this year and I am probably at work or on my way down south or already there, depending on what time you read this.

So

Whoever you are,

whatever you do,

however you feel,

whenever you want, and

wherever you may be

look for the hidden message in this posting.

(You probably can, but If you can’t figure it out, send me a comment or an email!)

Why 17?

Over the last 17 years, I’ve probably driven thousands of miles, from home to my office in Jalan Ampang. When I first began work there, the Twin Towers weren’t even up yet. I was a widow and single-mom to 2 small boys. I drove a Daihatsu. I was considered skinny. I wore really micro miniskirts. I had waist-length hair. I couldn’t understand a word of Spanish.

Fast forward to 2009, the Twin Towers are a landmark and a must-see for tourists. I am remarried now. I drive a Myvi. I am considered “pleasantly plump” (my choice of words!). My dress code is sober. My hair is now shoulder-length. I speak and think better in Spanish than Bahasa Malaysia.

In 17 years, the transformation of a shy, quiet, reserved and insignificant girl into a confident, positive and outspoken woman is complete.

Before joining the Embassy, I used to teach in a secretarial school. I hadn’t been a practising secretary for almost ten years and I was a little apprehensive about putting my theoretical skills to practise. I hadn’t even the slightest notion of what working in an Embassy would entail. However, I decided I had nothing to lose, did my best and, well, the rest is history.

It’s no small miracle that I have remained at the same job for so long and some have asked me if I am getting bored. My answer is a definitive “No”. The reason is that the diplomats are only around for about five years or less. I’m now working with my third ambassador and, in the meantime, there have been more than ten different diplomats. It is always very interesting. Each person has a story to tell and something to share. You learn something from each one and many become long-distance friends.

When you spend more than eight hours a day in an office, it’s your second home. You have to make it a place where you grow, not only intellectually but also emotionally. It’s a conscious decision to do that.

What do I see as my greatest achievement after 17 years?

I think that I’m a better person for having had the opportunity to do my best every day. Running a close second to that would be learning to speak Spanish.

How did I celebrate my day? My boss took all of us to lunch at The Orchid Room in The Lake Club. I chose a superbly prepared Beef Medallion, drank 2 glasses of red wine and had too much dessert.

Today, it’s only fitting that I especially remember my three bosses (Jorge Bayona, Javier Gonzales and Alejandro A Gordillo) and numerous colleagues who have contributed to making me who I am today.

To my dear collaborators, a thousand thanks for everything!

Para mis queridos collaboradores, mil gracias por todo!