Of memories

The popular lines are "The memories closest to my heart are those in which you have a part".  I think it is very true.  You can see this when people live their lives surrounded by all the things of their past.  Unconsciously, they cling to objects and photos because they cannot let go.

Here is a story I know of.  I wonder if anyone has a similar one!

I wonder, “are you over me yet?

Is it so hard for you to forget?

You told our friends you had enough

Kept quiet about your new found love

You spread stories about what I did

Yet  your infidelity you hid

The love had died so why pretend

You wanted life in that foreign land

So if the choice I made to leave

Works out for us, why do you grieve?

You have our pictures on your wall

You put our old stuff in your hall

Does he not mind that I am there

In his own house, does he not care?

Surrounded by old memories

how much of me you really miss

The dress you wore on your big day

Was real familiar, I should say

It made me smile to see that pic

A joke that somehow seems real sick

You reached behind into your past

Of what should only be just dust

I don’t know why you did just that

For you I did feel sort of sad

You should let go, give up your hope

That without you, I cannot cope

I have moved on and found a wife

I have real love, I have a life

I wish you well with your illusions

As well as all the fake allusions

That you are happy and just fine

Because I can see through that line

 You say too much about everything

with non-stop pretence and acting

If you are happy, people will know

And I think that it will show

 

So clear your house of things with me

And you will really be quite free

You owe it to yourself and him

Or else your future is quite dim

So are you over me yet?

Clean up your house, then we bet

For until then, and I can tell

You see me there I know it well

I once was yours but now no more

And it is such a point so sore

That you settled for who you’re with

And make it seem it was your wish

I know better and so do you

Call your bluff, that I won’t do

Just hope that you get over me

Only then can you be free.

My Prayers (Pre- and Post-I.S.A.)

3o years ago, I was 19! That was a lifetime ago. I was young, carefree, naive and never even knew about the I.S.A.

This was my prayer, written on 23 November 1978

My Prayer

I sit here Lord, inspired by You
and hope that you watch all I do

I look back and I wonder why
so many times I told a lie
so many times I let You down
so many times I made You frown

I also wonder how, dear Lord
You made me see you were not bored
You loved me tho' I was quite slow
You even showed me where to go

I ask, dear Lord, not just for me
I ask, dear Lord, for all to see
that we must love our fellow men
not sometimes or just now and then
but always, Lord, and this I ask
For it is not an easy task
For everyone to understand
Your Will, Your Way, Your guiding Hand

I sit here Lord, and softly pray
that somehow things may change today

Fast-forward to 2008, I'm now, what some people may consider, a die-hard supporter of the anti-I.S.A. sentiment. For this reason, I sat to write a prayer again on 11 December 2008 . Here it is:

Another Prayer

It's 2008, and thirty years have passed
The time just seemed to have gone by fast
Not needing to use an old typewriter
It's so easy now with a new computer

Yet the words come slow and the ideas are few
Rusty with rhyming and writing poem feels new
What do I pray about in this day and age?
Bigger car, nicer clothes and higher wage?

I guess there's just too much to expect
from a world that has so little respect
for truth, justice, love, harmony,
much needed peace and liberty

But more than all of the above
I pray for what we all deserve
The right to wake and work each day
without the threat of the I.S.A.

If you like my prayer, if you share what I feel and if you want things to change then join us in our quest to stand up for our rights to a life without the I.S.A. hanging over our heads!!!

Details here (courtesy of Pat Lu)

A dedication to Eric

Receiving a poem dedication today, I remembered writing one myself, way back in January 1993. I've written many but never published any. Now that I have a blog, it's only fitting that the first ever poem I post, should be dedicated to this little fella who left such a dent in our lives.

Eric (March 1990 - July 1992)

Once upon a time, there was a little boy

with curly brown hair, who gave me such joy

He was my son. I called him Eric

cute as could be, but then he was sick

He was delightful with his cheeky ways

keeping me busy through all of his days

He had a hole in his heart, known as VSD

not many knew, except for the family

At two, he had to have open-heart surgery

how painful for him and for me such misery

But he was brave and smiled even in the ICU

My precious child, experiencing something new

He recovered from the ordeal and came back

Then he had a hypertension attack

He collapsed at home, near his brother and I

We both panicked and feared that he would die

With terror in our hearts and such pain in mine

I suddenly felt he would leave us behind

I relived again all the tension and stress

realising that I could have one person less

I held my son and whispered a prayer

"Don’t take him, Lord, just don’t you dare!"

How could I endure some more pain?

Would I survive it? Would I be sane?

Six months later, I'm still grieving inside,

so much to let go off and so much to hide

I love you, Eric Joseph, and I always will

and life for me is like walking uphill

It's so difficult, not having you now

but I have to manage, someway, somehow

I had you dear Eric, for only two years

now all I have left, are just my tears

You've gone somewhere better, that I know

But it's hard to be happy when I miss you so

My "Once upon a time", is just a short chapter

Without the "they lived happily ever after."

-17 January 1993-

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The 2 brothers, Jared John and Eric Joseph in 1991