Till death (or divorce) do us part

When Joe, a nice man married for over 50 years died, his wife, Myrtle was devastated. A couple of months later, Myrtle also died. Once in heaven, Myrtle anxiously looked for Joe.

Suddenly, behind a cloud, she could clearly see him with another woman. She ran towards him, calling his name: "Joe Darling... Joe…..."

Joe said "Hold your horses, woman, and don't 'darling' me. The deal was very clear...

"Until death do us part"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I got that joke from my sis. It stayed in my mind for a while and now I've decided to write about it.

Marriage vows made are valid only as long as both are living. Therefore, the phrase "till death do us part" is really part of the deal. I used to have the notion that love only happens once in a lifetime. When your spouse dies, love shouldn't figure in your life again. That's a myth!!!

So I don't subscribe to that notion anymore. I believe that if one's spouse dies, life must go on. Some may choose to honour the memory of their loved one by remaining alone. Some others just move on and welcome whatever life offers to them with an open heart and mind.

"Till death do us part" is a wise clause to have in a marriage. It opens the door to the one left behind to having a second chance at happiness. After all, why must the death of one mean the end of life for the other?

I know that those who choose never to love again, because they feel they would never find anyone to measure up to the one they lost, are equally normal in every sense of the word. I suspect, though, that they probably frown upon others who can and do move on in another relationship. Those who do, probably raise their eyebrows at those who don't. Neither is the better. Every person is unique and every situation exclusive.

When there is a death, I know that it's the lesser of two evils, if compared to divorce. Death is final.

Divorce, like death, also means the end of a marriage. Both parties agree to give up and move on. Sometimes, only one is emotionally ready to do so and the other is not really given the option to stay.

From what I've seen among family and friends, I think death makes for a cleaner cut. The ties are severed completely. There is no more chance for reconciliation and makes "moving on" a tad easier.

"Till divorce do us part" sounds very much as if everything is over. Kaput. Ended. Not true.

More often than not, the links and old familiar feelings remain for a bit before they fade into oblivion.

Divorce can be amicable. Rare but not impossible because I've seen it firsthand. My parents divorced and they were always cordial. My mom got on with my step-mom. Nevertheless, it's important to know that this can only be so, if both sides close that chapter of their lives and move on. I remember my mom feeling hurt before the divorce. Once she decided to end the relationship, she closed that door and moved on. No more ill feelings and never a twinge of regret. She never looked back and I'm glad for her. It was the right thing for her to do.

Some get divorced and almost immediately remarry. Perhaps they feel smug about moving on so quickly. Not smart, I think. Divorce, like death, should have a mourning period. A time to heal, mend, and be completely over that love. Yes, love would have been there, at the start.

This sort of "cooling off" period is essential because a divorce can be so unpleasant. More so when one pretends to be a victim and betrays the memory of what was once a union of love.

In today's world, the vows "till death do us part" might very well be "till divorce do us part".

What say you?

all pics from here