15 November 2011

Of hate and hurting; hope and healing

It always takes me by surprise when people hate because someone wants them to hate.  Maybe it's just me but I won't hate or ignore someone just because somebody says I should do so.  Even when I was young, I used to be firm about how I felt towards anyone.  I did not allow my parents or my siblings to infiltrate my mind.  I made and still make my own choices.  Well, I have a brain and I can choose to decide on my own.  I'm not someone's dog.  It's akin to being a dog.  The owner says "attack" and the dog attacks.  The owner says "heel" and the dog heels.

This is why I don't understand why people choose to hate and hurt for the most trivial of reasons or simply because of gossip.

Hearts can heal and humans can hope.  Isn't that easier?  I guess not.  It is just tougher for a person when their self-esteem depends on approval from other members of the family.  Maybe it's the inability to make a stand.  I get that.

I hear that it's a matter of "blood being thicker than water".  That is laughable.  If this is true then my husband will rank way below the thousands of relatives I have.  There's a fine line for first place between my husband and my child.  Parents and siblings take second place.  Then relatives take third place followed by the good friends in fourth and acquaintances in fifth and so forth.  Where does blood come into the picture?

In the end, I suspect that the one they hurt is really their own self.  They may think that their silence is elegant or that their family camaraderie is impressive but it's probably just a facade for an inability to live and to love graciously.

With this, I'm going to put it behind me.  I've done my part.  I stepped outside of my comfort zone to be friends with some unfriendly people.  Now I'm done.

As Oscar Wilde says, "Life is too important to be taken seriously."  So no regrets, just lessons learnt.

You can call it the universe, God, co-incidence or whatever suits you but I think I just had a nice cleansing of, probable and possible, toxic people in my corner of the world.

(pics from all over Facebook)


Pat said...

I can't imagine who you are talking about here, but that person is a fool.

When I was younger, I must admit that hating was something that came easily to me. Now, after the first flush of anger, I work my emotions and my brain towards intense dislike, dislike, and then, my goal: indifference.

It may sound like I'm just playing with semantics, but I make a conscious decision not to hate anyone - and it works for me.

My life is too precious to waste it on hating. And, for the same reason, to waste it on someone who 'hates' me.

Love makes my world go round - and you're SO in it :)


STEEST said...


No, you probably can't imagine who I'm talking about since these people are a rare species.

I really like to think that God is clearing the way for me to have a fuss-free life. Hee hee

The ones that I have in my world are the ones that matter. In this sense, I am blessed.

If they had any backbone or spine, they'd give peace a chance.

Anyway, as I said in my blog, "I'm done" and I am moving on.

So glad to be in your world!

Hugz for my Patz!

Antares said...

You hug Pat, I hug you.... beginnings of a huge hug circle, yay! :-)

STEEST said...


Good idea!!!

Hug hug hug!