27 December 2011

Belated Christmas Wishes 2011

I've been so busy this Christmas season with the kids that I've neglected to put up a Christmas greeting.  

Anyway, better late than never.  

Stephen and I have been acting as tourist guides.  The kids add to our joy and excitement at this wonderful time of the year.

Together, we can have our cake and eat it but the children are the icing (sweet and delicious)

(pics from the www)

10 December 2011

#5 Of What Makes me Smile

I was at Starbucks, KLCC grabbing a bite and enjoying my Caramel Macchiato.  While texting and halfway through my drink, the waitress asked me if some other people could join me because I was alone.  Of course, I agreed.

The table was a small one with only three chairs.  When I turned around to see who would share my table, it was a married couple with a little girl.

In Singapore, it's pretty common to share tables but in Malaysia, it is not a common practice.

Anyway, the little girl took a seat and her daddy told her she had to sit on his lap.  She obediently agreed although I could see that she wanted to have her own chair.

I quickly 'yam seng-ed" my drink and moved off.  The mommy apologised that I had to rush but I told her I was going off and not to worry.

As I moved off and hovered just by the side of the outlet, texting some friends, she came over to me with the little gift (picture above).

I was so taken by surprise.  Well, blow me over!!!!  A random act of kindness and I was the recipient!!!

I asked her if I could give her a hug and she accepted.

This really made me smile.  Now when I am home and I see it again, I am smiling again.

27 November 2011

Selamat Menyambut Awal Muharram

Words by Paulo Coelho and I share his sentiments.

26/11/2011 or 1/1/1433 in Hijrah: 
Happy New Year my Muslim friends! 

"If you know yourself, then you'll not be harmed by what is said about you." (Arab proverb)

24 November 2011

Happy Thanksgiving 2011

Found this online. Made me smile.

How To Cook A Turkey:
Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turk the bastey
Step 8: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 9: Ponder the meat thermometer
Step 10: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
Step 11: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 12: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 13: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 14: Turk the carvey
Step 15: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 16: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 17: Bless the dinner and pass out...................;)


20 November 2011

Happy Birthday Stephen Felix Grosse!

Oh yes, another year gone by.  A year filled with all things bright and beautiful though tinged with some anxieties and worries but emerging victorious in so many ways.

I had missed some very special days this year because of circumstances beyond my control.  However, I cannot let today which is 20.11.2011 go by without a mention on my blog.

This is my Baby Grosse!

52 years and counting!!!!
From the Baby Queen, Baby Prince and Baby Princess.

15 November 2011

Of hate and hurting; hope and healing

It always takes me by surprise when people hate because someone wants them to hate.  Maybe it's just me but I won't hate or ignore someone just because somebody says I should do so.  Even when I was young, I used to be firm about how I felt towards anyone.  I did not allow my parents or my siblings to infiltrate my mind.  I made and still make my own choices.  Well, I have a brain and I can choose to decide on my own.  I'm not someone's dog.  It's akin to being a dog.  The owner says "attack" and the dog attacks.  The owner says "heel" and the dog heels.

This is why I don't understand why people choose to hate and hurt for the most trivial of reasons or simply because of gossip.

Hearts can heal and humans can hope.  Isn't that easier?  I guess not.  It is just tougher for a person when their self-esteem depends on approval from other members of the family.  Maybe it's the inability to make a stand.  I get that.

I hear that it's a matter of "blood being thicker than water".  That is laughable.  If this is true then my husband will rank way below the thousands of relatives I have.  There's a fine line for first place between my husband and my child.  Parents and siblings take second place.  Then relatives take third place followed by the good friends in fourth and acquaintances in fifth and so forth.  Where does blood come into the picture?

In the end, I suspect that the one they hurt is really their own self.  They may think that their silence is elegant or that their family camaraderie is impressive but it's probably just a facade for an inability to live and to love graciously.

With this, I'm going to put it behind me.  I've done my part.  I stepped outside of my comfort zone to be friends with some unfriendly people.  Now I'm done.

As Oscar Wilde says, "Life is too important to be taken seriously."  So no regrets, just lessons learnt.

You can call it the universe, God, co-incidence or whatever suits you but I think I just had a nice cleansing of, probable and possible, toxic people in my corner of the world.

(pics from all over Facebook)

06 November 2011

Selamat Hari Raya Haji 2011


02 November 2011

Of moving, moving on

Okay, Eric would have been 21 this year.

Doug's been gone 20 years now this year.

I'm done with the milestones. 

Sometimes, it's as simple as that.

                                                              I'm moving on.

I won't forget the love but I'm letting go of the pain.

26 October 2011


For those celebrating the Festival of Lights!

May you find peace, love and happiness in everyone you meet!

15 October 2011

Of where I've been

It's a little annoying sometimes when people think that I am where I am today because of luck.  I am not a high-ranking official in any organisation or some big shot but I am successful in my own right.  

How exactly did I get to be where I am today?  Let me share part of my journey.

When I left school after finishing my "O" levels, I was undecided about what to do.  In my family, education was not a priority.  If you wanted to go to school, you could and if you didn't, it wasn't a sin.  The fact that I even completed my secondary education is an achievement, of sorts.

I didn't know, then, what I wanted to do.  I gave tuition and earned some pocket money.  A neighbour told me to learn shorthand and typewriting because she said the skills would help me, no matter what I chose to do.  Thanks to her, I can touch type today.

This prompted me to check some colleges and I found out that the best was Goon Institution.  It would mean taking a bus to PJ from KL, four days a week to attend evening classes.  I was excited but tinged with some sadness that I couldn't be chauffeur-driven when I saw how packed the mini buses were.

My first class of typewriting was uneventful.  I joined a class of about 50 other students. No one looked up when I walked in.  Everybody seemed to know what to do.  I sat down and had my first lesson.  It would be the only time I would have someone watching over me.  My progress depended on me and on how much I wanted to do to get ahead.  It is a skill that is the most useful in today's cyberworld, I think.

For shorthand, the class was smaller.  There were about 30 of us.  I sat next to a girl, Assunta Menon.  She was the first baby born in Assunta hospital.  It was nice to be her shorthand buddy.

The teacher was running late.  Suddenly an old man, in the mould of George Burns, just about five feet in height, walks in and says he was going to teach us shorthand.  Oh my goodness!  An old man was going to teach us!!!!!!!!  My initial reaction was shock and disappointment.  I couldn't believe that they would designate a dinosaur, a tiny one at that, instead of some young and dynamic teacher.

*Knock my head here*.  The dinosaur turned out to be Mr Goon Koon Leong, the founder of Goon Institution.

(pic from here)
Come on, don't tell me the resemblance isn't uncanny!

After one lesson on Pitman's New Era Shorthand with the famous Mr K L Goon, I found that I loved it.  There was something in the way he taught the subject.  He passed on that love of shorthand and teaching to me.  Often in class, I sat mesmerised at how he made such a difficult subject seem so interesting.  He motivated us and unreservedly gave us all the years of knowledge and experience he had.  I wasn't to know then that my class would be the last class that he would teach.  It was an honour to have been his student.

As I continued with my evening classes, I began to have a dream of teaching.  I didn't know what to do about it, or where I should go to or how to go about it.  I hatched a plan.  A simple plan and the first step towards the door of opportunity is all it took to get me going.

One evening, I went in earlier than usual and poked my head into the office of Mr K L Goon.  He was alone and I knocked on his door to get his attention.  He looked up and motioned for me to enter.

Our conversation went something like this

Me:  Good evening, Sir.
KLG:  Good evening.  What can I do for you?
Me:  I have some questions and hope you can give me some answers.
KLG:  Sit down.  What do you want to know?
Me:  I just wanted to tell you that I love shorthand and I can see myself teaching it one day.  Please could you let me know what I should do to start the ball rolling?

He smiled.  Looked at his fingernails and without looking at me, he carried on
KLG:  First, you have to pass your shorthand exams.
Me:  I know.  I will.
KLG:  What are you doing now?
Me:  I'm giving tuition on a part-time basis.
KLG:  Why aren't you working full-time?
Me:  I have no skills, no experience, no nothing.  No one will want to employ me.
KLG:  How old are you?
Me:  Almost 19. I'm 18 now.
KLG:  Okay, Come work here.
Me: Oh!
KLG:  Yes, You can start next week.

And just like that, I got my first real job as a clerk earning RM170.00 a month.  Three months later, I had a RM20.00 increment and I felt like I was on top of the world.  This was in 1978 and it was enough for me to survive.

Several months after that, I was told that the son of K. L. Goon needed a clerk cum secretary.  Apparently, they had decided that I would fill that position.  It was going to be in another branch and he had a tough reputation: he was a taskmaster and I was really worried that I would not measure up to his standards.

In some way, I saw it as another door of opportunity and I walked into it, hesitantly but confidently.  My motto was "Give your best and do your best".  Goon Kok Chee or K. C. Goon turned out to be a great mentor for me.  He taught me many skills and gave me a platform from which to develop all the potential he saw in me.

I had not yet any formal certificates but I was happy and contented.  I had a great boss and learning so much every day with a salary that was enough for all my expenses.

One day, K L Goon visited the office where I was working and he asked me if everything was doing okay.  I said I was happy that he had confidence in my abilities.  He urged me to take up the London Chamber of Commerce and Industry (LCCI) Private Secretary's Certificate (PSC) examinations. I laughed and said that the classes were ongoing and there was no way I could join them. He insisted that I had to join in the next intake.  He assured me that I could take the entire course without paying for anything except the exam fees.  There was no way I could turn down the offer.  The entire cost would be about RM1500.00 without the examination fees.  On my own, I would never have been able to afford it.  It was the third door of opportunity that I walked through.

In January of 1980, I enrolled for 18 months of night school while working full-time to chase after what was a much-coveted piece of paper.

In the midst of the one and a half years, K L Goon also 'forced' me to attend one of the Malaysian Institute of Management (MIM) programs called "The Effective Secretary".  This was an absolute drop-from- heaven kind of gift for me.  The syllabus covered aspects of secretarial work that the LCCI PSC didn't cover.  Of the six of us who attended, only two passed with a distinction.  I was one of them.  I was the youngest in the group and I felt a strong sense of gratitude and pride.  I have, in turn, paid it forward and helped others to better themselves when I had the opportunity, exactly as K L Goon and K C Goon had done for me.

My greatest achievement was passing the LCCI single subject Shorthand 100 words per minute examination in 1981 and getting the First place in Malaysia.  It is, for me, the most important milestone in my life.  It sealed my place in my own personal history as the highest recognition of my hard work.  I received a Silver Medal from LCCI.  Often when I am spring-cleaning, I chance upon this medal and it always stops me in my tracks to see how far I am come since then.

In 1981, I sat for the final examinations and while I was relatively confident of passing, I harboured a tiny fear that I would disappoint, not only myself, but also K L Goon and K C Goon who had faith in me and opened up doors that allowed me to grow professionally.

In the end, I got through in the first attempt and I am a qualified Private Secretary with a certificate from the famous and renowned London Chamber of Commerce and Industry.  

To my benefactors, lecturers and supporters who helped me along that path, I thank you for a debt I cannot repay.

I hope that emulating kindness and generosity to others, will in some small way, be a tribute to them.

06 October 2011

Good bye Steve Jobs

I never heard of Steve Jobs until only recently.  The first time that I did, was when someone sent me the link for his address at Stanford.  It blew me away.

My first Apple product was the iPod.  Stephen got it for me but I didn't really use it much so I gave it away to my son.

Then Stephen got me the iPhone4. Now that I am used to the Touch Screen, I love it.

Even before I could get used to the iPhone, Stephen got me the iPad2.

We had fun learning how to manage with it.  What a wonderful tool of communication it has become in our lives!!!!

I couldn't let the day pass without writing something.  This man helped people to connect so easily.  He is a hero.

All I want to say now is iSad.

03 October 2011

What is your inside?

Last Friday, I was in a taxi on my way to Bangsar.  As is usual, the taxi driver looked at me through the rear-view mirror and asked, "What are you, ah?"

I smiled and said, "I'm Malaysian."

There is a red light so he stopped and turned around to look at me again.  He said, "I mean, what is your inside?"

I smiled again and said, "My inside is also Malaysian".

I understand what he wants to know.  He thinks I don't.  Exasperated by my answers, he narrows down the options for me, "Chinese?  Sabahan?  Eurasian?"

I responded firmly, "I was born in Malaysia and so I am Malaysian." 

Before he could react, I asked him, "What is YOUR inside?"  

Confidently he declared, "I'm Chinese; born in Malaysia."  So I said to him, "You are Malaysian and your inside is Malaysian".  He smiled and is amused.  I am, too.

We had a lovely chat all the way to Bangsar.  He thanked me for being so friendly and I thanked him back for sharing his thoughts.

(pics from WWW)

30 September 2011

SABM's Bodacious Sale 2011


I say, it's going to be BODALICIOUS!!  

Date and Time: Saturday, October 1 · 10:00am - 5:00pm

Place: Rumah Anak Bangsa Malaysia, 66, Lorong Setiabistari 1, Bukit Damansara, 50490

Who are we?
We are ordinary Malaysians trying to do something extraordinary. We are part of the Saya Anak Bangsa Malaysia movement, which was launched in 2009 at its Rumah in Bukit Damansara. We believe that we are one people and one nation.

This is our home, we care and we want to make it better.

Why are we doing this?
Our vision is to create and sustain a program that will bring rural and urban children together to instill in them core values, relational and leadership skills, and provide them opportunities to experience our multi-faceted society in a more meaningful way. This is a long-term project which will involve rural and urban children coming together for regular holiday camps in the years ahead.

Click on link to go to the page!
SABM's Bodacious Sale 2011

16 September 2011

Malaysia Day at RABM

“People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.”, said Zig Ziglar.

I now understand what he means.

When SABM had their launching two years ago today, I was all fired up and eager to go. Somehow, that didn't translate into anything. Not all the time and energy I thought I would commit materialised into what my heart and head had hoped to do.

Motivation doesn't last and Ziglar hit the nail on the head when he said that we need daily doses. 

There's something special about rubbing shoulders with fellow Malaysians. It holds a kind of magic that transports the mind to a special place where dreams of a better Malaysia seem to be within one's grasp.

I am a full-blooded and able-bodied Malaysian and I haven't lost hope for Anak Bangsa Malaysia. As I sit here with their little black souvenir booklet in my hand, I feel the stirrings. I feel the struggle. I feel the pride. I feel the tears stinging my eyes.  

There is hope.

Some pictures from the gathering can be seen here.

15 September 2011

Happy Malaysia Day!

In the last year, I've made more friends than I ever did since I left school.  Thanks to Facebook, we interact and have groups and, often, a friend of a friend of a friend can turn out to be a good friend.

One thing I've noticed is that the Malaysians on my Facebook list seem to not notice race, colour or creed.  It's what I don't take for granted at all.

No one makes an issue if there's a lame joke about a particular race or religion.  People seem to be easy-going and understanding.  Tolerance and kindness become the order of the day.  Yes, in the comfort of my Facebook Account, I've the luxury of choosing who surround me.  Be that as it may, I still get the feeling of one bangsa and one country. 

United we stand and divided we fall.  So on this Malaysia Day, let's carry our kindness and goodness to beyond the virtual world and into the real world.

By the way, there will be a celebration here at 7.00 pm on Friday, 16 September 2011.  Jom!!

31 August 2011

Home - Seri Sentosa (Peaceful and Tranquil)

14 years ago, I moved in to Taman Seri Sentosa.  It seems like a million years ago.  It didn't feel like home then, and every day as I drove home from work, I wondered when I would feel like I was going home.

Eventually I got used to the area and made new friends.  In retrospect, it is hard to remember the exact moment that this place became "home".

I have lived in the following areas: Tiong Nam (KL), Setapak Gardens, Masjid India (KL), Damansara Utama, Kepong and Section 14 (PJ).  

In conclusion, this quote rings true that "A small house can hold as much happiness as a big one".



29 August 2011

Selamat Hari Raya 2011

● ¸ . ★ ° . .  . ☾ °☆  . * ● ¸ .  ★ ° :.  . • ○ ° ★  .  * .° ☾ °  ¸. ● ¸ . ★ ° :  . . ¸ . ● ¸   ★  ★☾ °★ . .  °☆  . ● ¸ . ★ ° .  • ○ °           . ° ☾ °☆  ¸. ● . ★★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸  ★  :.  . •     ° ★  .* . . ¸ .   °  ¸. * ● ¸  ★☾ °★ .   • ○ ° ★   ° ☾  °  ¸. ● ¸ . ★ ° :.  . • °   .  * :.. ¸ . ● ¸  ★  ★ ☾     °★ * . ☾ °  ¸. * ● ¸ ° ☾ °☆ . * ¸.  ★ .  °  . ● .  ° ☾ °☆ ¸. ● . ★ ★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸  ★  .  .* . .   .  °  ¸.   * ● ¸ .  ° ☾ °  ¸. ● ¸ . ★ ° :.    . • °  .  * :.. ¸ . ● ¸  ° ☆ . ● ¸ .  ★ ° .  • ○ ° ★  .* . ☾ ° ¸. * ● ¸  ° ☾ °☆  . * ¸. ★.  ● ¸ ★ ★ ☾     .* . ☾ ° ¸. * ● ¸ 

You have been sprinkled with Peace, Love, & Happiness! 


15 August 2011

A matter of face

I've been slack in writing here.  Sometimes I have so many things I want to say but I also have so many things that I want to do and usually that wins.

Today, I feel like ranting about something.

What do you all think about someone requesting me to be a Facebook friend and I accept.  

Later when I changed my profile picture to something other than my photo, that someone got annoyed.  So annoyed that he insisted I put a picture of myself showing my "face" because this is Facebook.   

Even when I said that it's not a requirement of Facebook, and that all my photos are visible now that we are already friends, it was still not acceptable.  In the end, I told that person to delete me.

I know that people put up all sorts of pictures/logos/pets/kids/sceneries and what not.  Who cares what you want to put up?  What counts is the person behind that Facebook account.

I believe this is infringing on a person's freedom of expression.  If you fail this test, then you can't be my friend.   I can't be your friend.  We cannot be friends.

Facebook is a great filter for the small-minded people out there.  I have now rid myself of one of them.

(pics from photobucket)

08 August 2011

Beauty is in the "i" of the beholder!

Lo and behold, that's me with my iPhone and iPad2.  Thanks to Steven Jobs and Stephen Grosse.

Earlier, Stephen gave me an iPod.  I didn't use it very much.  Then I found out that if you combine your iPod with Mitone Speakers, you get a remarkable sound system.

I was already satisfied with my Blackberry but when the contract to upgrade the phone came up, Stephen decided to get me the iPhone.  Two weeks later, he got me the iPad2.

I found these on the net and it seems appropriate to share it here.

The modern i-Family...
Son: iPod
Daughter: iPhone
Mom: iPad
Dad: iPAY!!!! :(

and another one

I am addicted. 

I bought all the iPhone, iPad, iTouch...
now iBroke,ihomeless and iRegret.

18 July 2011

The realities of relatives

Who is a 'relative'?
a person who is connected with another or others by blood or marriage.

I've found that there are relatives and there are relatives. Or so people say when they want to imply that some relatives are nice and others are not so nice.

The reality is that relatives often think that they know best. By virtue of the fact that they are a relative, they believe that their opinions are the only ones that count. They cannot see beyond that and refuse to consider any other option as being correct except theirs. This is a reality.

The reality is that relatives often want to be the first to hear news. They need to be the first to convey information they pick up, even when it's not true. This is a reality.

The reality is that relatives often cause more damage than good even if they have the best intentions. They are unable to see the big picture and only judge from one small vantage point but shout the loudest.

Fortunately, one negative relative can be neutralised by another positive relative.

Thankfully, the reality is that the good ones far outweigh the bad ones.

(all pics from photobucket)

09 July 2011

Bersih 2.0 Singapore

You might like to have a look at some pictures.

Click on link to view


I met Daniel and Yunni there.  Two young Malaysians who dropped by at the Speakers Corner to lend their support on a Saturday afternoon.  Meeting them gives me hope that the next generation are generally headed in the right direction.

I left at about 3.30 pm.  Before I left, I took a count of the people there and I can safely say that more than 150 people turned up.

If you were present at Hong Lim Park, please feel free to tag yourself on my album.  I have put the setting to 'Friends of Friends'.

Overall, it was a nice afternoon.  Pity I couldn't stay any longer.

30 June 2011

You cannot and you should not

You cannot and you should not tell me who I am.

You cannot and you should not tell me what to wear.

You cannot and you should not tell me where to go.

You cannot and you should not tell me when to speak.

You cannot and you should not tell me how to feel

you can and you should tell me why you are afraid of  who I am, what I wear, where I go, how I feel,  and when I speak.

You know who you are.

(pic from "positive thoughts")

26 June 2011




Leave now, if you are anti-BERSIH.


Apparently, the colour scares some people.

I didn't know that until today.  


(gif from photobucket)

23 June 2011

What do YOU see?

The pictures are not clear because it's taken from inside the bus, with my Blackberry.  I meant to take more but I got so excited when I realised  what was happening that I managed to get only these two.

It was 13 May 2011.  I was half way to Singapore that day.  We had stopped in Pagoh for the obligatory break in the journey.  

When I boarded the bus to wait for the remaining passengers, I noticed another passenger, an old man, walking very slowly back to the bus.  Two younger guys strolled up to him and then one of them took his hand to help him cross the road and board the bus.  Simple enough.  So what do you see?

At first, I saw 2 Malay men with 1 Chinese man.  

I had to chide myself and correct the bad programming in my head.  

Then I realise that what I saw was 2 young Malaysians helping another old Malaysian.  This is how it should be always.  Not only on May 13 but every day. 

What did you see?

22 June 2011

Of Ambiga Sreenevasan, Hillary Clinton, Condoleeza Rice and Others

In the year 2009, a Malaysian was honoured to be one of the eight recipients for the 2009 Secretary of State's Award for International Women of Courage Awards.

Excerpt from Facebook
In the ceremony, the United States Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton commented, "... Ambiga Sreenevasan, has a remarkable record of accomplishment in Malaysia. She has pursued judicial reform and good governance, she has stood up for religious tolerance, and she has been a resolute advocate of women’s equality and their full political participation. She is someone who is not only working in her own country, but whose influence is felt beyond the borders of Malaysia. And it is a great honor to recognize her and invite her to the podium."

Here is what Wikipedia has to say:
Dato’ Ambiga Sreenevasan (born 1956) is a Malaysian lawyer who served as the Malaysian Bar chairlady from 2007 to 2009.

In March 2009, she became one of the eight recipients for the 2009 Secretary of State’s Award for International Women of Courage Awards. In the ceremony, the United States Secretary of State Hillary Clinton commented, “… Ambiga Sreenevasan, has a remarkable record of accomplishment in Malaysia. She has pursued judicial reform and good governance, she has stood up for religious tolerance, and she has been a resolute advocate of women’s equality and their full political participation. She is someone who is not only working in her own country, but whose influence is felt beyond the borders of Malaysia. And it is a great honor to recognize her and invite her to the podium.”

In the picture, she stands between two women who will go down in US history.  I think Ambiga will also make it in the annals of Malaysian history.

For this reason, it is amazing that others recognize her good work and contribution to society (see here), while in Malaysia, there are some who think otherwise. (see here).

(pics from here)

19 June 2011

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads

To all the fathers out there, 
here's wishing you the best day ever!

The greatest gift I ever had
Came from God; I call him Dad!

~Author Unknown

12 June 2011

Of uncommon common sense

I guess it's too much to ask, nowadays, if people know the unwritten rules of protocol when visiting elderly folk in a nursing home.

Yes, I know that it's frowned upon when a parent is put in a nursing home.  Yet, if people take the trouble to look into the extenuating circumstances, they might understand the whys and the wherefores.  

In the taxi to visit my mother-in-law yesterday, the taxi driver asked me who I was visiting and I told him, "my mother".  He asked me why she was in a home and I explained to him.  When we reached the destination, he turned around and said to me, "You are doing good".  He went on to say that his mother was also in a nursing home.  It was expensive but it was the best thing for her.  The fact that a total stranger could understand, in under ten minutes, really took me by surprise because there are so many family members out there eager to whack us about this.  Fortunately, Stephen and his sister did not have to depend on the so-called family members when deciding this.  Today, mom is still alive and that's all I have to say about it.  

Then, there are also people who want to put their aged parents in a home but just cannot afford to.  Nobody wants to come out with the money.  When this is the case, the aged parent is not in a better situation because the children are 'forced' to look after them.  I have heard accusations flying back and forth between siblings who are counting the hours each one has to do 'duty'.  It is not a pleasant scene.

Isn't it also true that some aged parents, when they are no longer useful to their children, are ill-treated, even at home?  How many cases are there of physically and mentally abused parents?  Parents who bear the humiliation and pain because of not wanting to disgrace their own children.  

What about the children who take their parents in because of money?  To comply with the clause of  "you take me in, you get the money".  Let's not pretend here about some of the cases out there of the "holier than thou" variety.

I'm not going into all that today.  Perhaps, I'll come back to it another time.

Today, I just want to list some "unwritten rules" that decent people should be aware of.

1.  You do not ask or hint for money from them.
2.  You do not unload your family or personal problems to them.
3.  You do not bring unhealthy food for them.
4.  You do not poison their minds about their immediate family members.
5.  You do not pretend concern if you visit only once in six months.

1.  You bring a smile and a cheerful countenance.
2.  You talk about events that lift the spirit.
3.  You sit and listen because they want to talk.
4.  You give a hug and a kiss because it's good for the soul.
5.  You leave with words that nourish her.

So often I have had to listen to the complaints from my mother-in-law about the people who have broken their promises to her to bring her food/to visit again/to buy her something or other.  How can people be so thoughtless?

08 June 2011

Of the tide turning

Other than when I am with Stephen, I am used to being the one who is in the position of servitude.  

Well, at work, that's my job.

In my family, it isn't unusual either that I am the one everyone expects to step up to the plate and to deal with whatever happens.

I'm the one who goes the distance for the family, when necessary.  For as long as I can remember, I'm the one who carries the bags, the one who gets the car while they wait at the entrance.  I'm the one who does the banking, picks up the stuff, gets the groceries or whatever else needs to be done.  I've hosted gatherings, sleepovers and dinners at restaurants.

This is the reason why I love being with Stephen.  He will queue up for me, order my food and drinks while I sit and wait.  He will go shopping with me, carry the bags, open the doors and even watch movies that I like.  I'm really pampered.

It's a stark contrast to how I am with my family.

Recently, I was out with my son and his girlfriend, Gwen.  Yup, I was the lamp post.

Anyway, we had lunch and then browsed around Ikea.  We found some stuff that we wanted needed.  Hence, we ended up carrying quite a bit between the three of us.  Since we intended to shop some more, the kids decided to leave the things in the car so that our hands would be free for more shopping.

As we made our way to the basement and just as we reached the exit, Gwen turned to me and said, "Aunty, you sit here and wait while we put the things in the car".  For a moment, I was stunned.  I'll explain why.

Other than when I am with Stephen, I am the one who does what needs to be done.  

Now, the kids are treating me as I have been treating my old folks.  

It's official.  

I'm O L D.

The tide has turned

I love it.

02 June 2011

You can call me, Datin!

Hah!!!  No matter how many times I think I won't be surprised, I surprise myself when I am.

No, Stephen hasn't received any Datukship for me to inherit the Datin title.  Stay with me here.

For some time now, I have observed that people love it when you call them "Datuk" or "Datin".  It has become an invisible but immediate elevation of their self-esteem.  I wonder if it's because they had a low self-esteem to start with. 

Anyway, this reminds me of two stories:-

Recently, I heard that a non-Malaysian couple had dinner with a Malaysian couple.  After introductions, the nice non-Malaysian lady leaned to the Malaysian lady and said, "No need to call me Mrs Doe, I'm Jane to everyone". To this, the Malaysian lady sweetly replied, "and you can call me, Datin".  Go figure that out!

Another story, which I also heard, is about a Malaysian Delegation that went to Peru in 1996.  There was an announcement, upon their arrival at the airport.  On the PA system, they were paging for a Mr Tan!  "Mr Tan, please go to information counter.   Mr Tan!  Mr Tan!"  No one responded because the Mr Tan, they were referring to, was a Tan Sri so and so.  Go figure, again!

If you are my friend, you'll be the same friend to me, with or without your Tan Sri/Puan Sri/Datuk/Datin title.  So if you are one of those people who insist on being known by your title, I have this to say to you

(all pics from photobucket)

29 May 2011

1Malaysia? I just don't get it!

How long has it been since this 1Malaysia slogan been bandied about?  I don't know and, really, I don't care.

It's not easy to believe in it when so many things around me is contrary to the 1Malaysia clarion call.

Even more frightening is that we are so detached from this 1Malaysia concept, today, than we ever were before.  I could easily make a long list where the 1Malaysia is not being observed.   What would be the point of that?  

Show me one aspect where it is being practised in every sense of the slogan and I'll buy you dinner.  It didn't have a chance to take off because the powers that be, don't give their all to make it work.

We are being bombarded by racists and racism in a country that we call our home.  We are bruised.  We are battered.  We are hurt.  We are injured.  What other forms of evidence does anyone need in order to know that the 1Malaysia sounds like a scam.

Simply put, I just don't get it at all. 

I love my country and I have the hope that things can change.

This IS Malaysia.  Not 1Malaysia or 2Malaysia or whatever and I wish it could be the way it was before.