When I married, I made a decision, in that precise moment, to love my husband. No matter who, what, when, where, why. I would love him always. It was a decision. Head ruled over heart. If people look at love in this way, perhaps it might change the world a bit.
I travelled across half of peninsula Malaysia, a 5-hour journey, to reach Singapore, before midnight so that I could be with the one I love.
Was it an arduous journey? No,it wasn’t, as I only had to sit and doze throughout. Thoughts of reaching my destination and being with the man who greets me with that twinkle in his eye makes it all worthwhile.
He’s 50 today. It’s no big deal, age is just in the mind. Isn’t everyone bandying the phrase “50 is the new 30”?
So this blog post has to be all about him and I’ll start with adjectives that best describes him.
S – SEXY T – TALENTED E – EXCITING P – PROTECTIVE H – HANDSOME E – ENERGETIC N – NAUGHTY
G – GENEROUS R – ROMANTIC O – OUTSTANDING S – SINCERE S – SPONTANEOUS E – ENDEARING
He’s all that and more. He’s kind, witty, caring and loving. I really lucked out when I met him. My life is filled with so much joy because of him.
Every workday, I drive along the Old Airport Road, enter the Smart Tunnel, and exit at Tun Razak Road.Usually I head straight for the underpass along with all the motorists that come via Sungei Besi and the Maju Expressway.5 lanes squeeze into the 3 lanes which make the rush hour traffic heavy and sometimes painfully slow.Add to this, the motorcycles who are NOT permitted to use the underpass and you have an accident waiting to happen.
Well, not that the motorcyclists should be faulted but I’ve noticed if you signal to change lanes, these motorcyclists horn you as if to say, “Stay in your lane”, I’m passing by”.Although they have no right to be in that underpass or tunnel or whatever you want to call it, they ride by all the NO MOTORCYLES signs without a care in the world and they have the audacity to blare their horns at you if you get in their way.
Grrrrrrr!
I’m not a snob.If I ride a motorbike, I’d adhere to the rules.I won’t drive in the motorcycle lanes and the motorcycles shouldn’t drive where they are not supposed to.
It’s simple really.Either remove those signs (and there are many of them) going into and out of KL or enforce the rule.
It’s a mandatory road sign which ALL motorcyclists are now oblivious to.
I received a long email this morning and the part in it that caught my attention was this line,
One conclusive hallmark of a failed state is that the crooks are inside the government, using government to protect and to advance their private interests.
I'm always impressed when people write well. I'm even more fascinated when they write factual stuff in an interesting way. What takes the cake is when they write well about factual stuff in an interesting way and when absolutely everyone can understand when they read it.
I’m going to join the many that have already touched on the cancellation of Beyoncé’s concert. Like those who have written, I’m not a particular fan of Beyoncé. If you asked me about her songs, I’d really have to think long and hard about it. Oh, okay, now I remember one of them, “Irreplaceable”.
The reason for this post is just to share a perspective about it.
I have three Muslim brothers. Two are married and one is single. Their ages range from early-thirties to mid-forties. As far as I can tell, neither of them would be affected by the singer because of her dressing. Not even if they were still young and impressionable, would I imagine them to be stimulated by her gyrations or scanty dressing.
Oh gosh, this type of publicity does little or nothing to help the image of Muslim men. Are they not able to face temptation (if any) and walk away? Why are they being portrayed as weak-willed and easily influenced (read aroused) by someone with a lovely body who can shake her booty?
What hope is there for Muslim men to find any partner, if women are being brainwashed into thinking that they would not be able to control their desires because someone is singing and dancing on stage? Sheesh!
So let’s get real. We see Beyoncé on MTV, in magazines and in movies. What makes a concert different? Why do we send out this message that the mindset of the male Muslim fraternity is so pathetic and has to be watched over so rigidly?
The authority that blows hot and cold over these tiny, irrelevant issues is mind boggling!
Exceptional! Yes. Unmatched! Yes. Unique! Yes. Only in Malaysia! Yes.
You may or may not know that DINK is an acronym for “Double Income No Kids”.Apparently, the word came about in the 80s at the height of the “yuppie - Young, Urban Professionals” culture.
Most of us, married with children, would have begun our married lives (if both were working) as DINKs or perhaps we’d be known as DINKYs (Double Income No Kids Yet) then.The natural progression of which is to enjoy a childfree marriage and to be eventually ready to propagate humanity with mini versions of ourselves.
It’s my guess that confirmed DINKs deliberately chose not to have kids because they had no time, no inclination, or any interest in expanding their dynasty.It is commendable that those, who do not have strong paternal/maternal instincts, choose to remain childfree.We all see and hear enough of babies abandoned at birth, children left to fend for themselves, or even neglected.So perhaps it is some blessing in disguise that these people, although they can well meet the expense of looking after a child, decide not to have any because they know their own limitations.Finance is not the issue here but the emotional aspects of bringing up a kid from scratch.I guess it’s safe to say that if one is not capable of handling the emotional upheaval that comes with having a child then; it’s a good decision.
On the other extreme, there are those who can’t afford to have a child and yet have one after another.In this case, I believe it’s lack of family planning plus an attitude of “we’ll get by” somehow.Sadly, this is not the same world as when our parents or grandparents lived in.Back then, we used to hear of people having 10, 12 or even 14 children.Today, we hardly hear of this practice.I know of a young couple who have five children.They are so proud to be parents but they can barely feed themselves.How will they manage? Those kids are going to grow up directionless.I hope I am wrong.
We hear of women in war torn countries giving birth when there isn’t enough food to get through the day.I don’t understand this at all.There’s an imbalance in the way things should be.Those that can afford do not and those that cannot do.
In the case of DINKs, it’s possible that both are working and neither wants to give up their job to stay at home and take care of a child.Sometimes I think it’s also because both don’t have any desire for children.They don’t have the space and time for anybody else in their lives except for each other and that’s fair.There is no point in having a child and regretting it later.There is no turning back once that child is here.
However, I think that as careers take off and when retirement is on the horizon, life begins to slow down and somehow there’s a feeling of missing something.I am only guessing here, since I have a child.
However, I’ve seen a couple of my own family members who died alone; with no spouse, no children and I felt sad for them. I think of those without children who gloat because they didn't have to struggle through the difficult years. What will become of these people when they are old and have no one with them? I am sure that as they got on with their childfree lives, they saw the majority of their friends go through the phase of having babies, struggling with school-going kids, handling terrible teenagers and juggling all that goes hand-in-hand with being a parent.Perhaps during those moments, they would have felt relief at not having to deal with that roller-coaster ride we all take with our kids.
Nevertheless, at the end of it all, when one gets older, that cranky baby, that naughty child or that incorrigible teenager becomes an adult and goes off to find his or her own path.This is when all that went into the growing-up years beings to pay off.You find that your child is an extension of yourself.Certainly not exactly the same person as you are, but a nice replica.I’ve read somewhere that childbirth is the only time we can assist God in creating a miracle. I like that idea and the knowledge that my genes do not end with me, makes me smile.A not-too-distant future with grandchildren fills my heart with anticipated joy.
And what of the SINKs!I made that up!Single Income No Kids.Same as DINKs, only worse because one works and the other stays home and can afford the time for a child.No kids because well, because they don’t know, just like DINKs, that when they grow old and have only each other and when the other is gone, loneliness awaits.
I’m sure there isn’t any hard and fast rule about having or not having a child.Those that don’t, usually have their reasons and I respect that completely.Those that do, join the club because the future is just going to get better and better.
This post is just to put down in words some of my thoughts.
