Of Being Tired or Retired

I recently retired from work after 33 years of gainful employment.  It is a nice feeling to be able to look back and feel a sense of accomplishment, satisfaction and gratification.  

Over the last 20 years, I had been an Ambassador's secretary.  During this period, I served 4 Ambassadors, worked alongside 9 official Diplomatic Officers of various ranks.  We had 3 Presidential visits (1996/1997/1998)  from the former President Alberto Fujimori.  Some embassies have never even had one Presidential visit and I count myself fortunate at having had three experiences.  It was hard work but I learnt a lot more than what you find in secretarial books!

From day one, it was always challenging and interesting.  There were dull moments but most of all, I remember the happy times and laughter.  My memory is fresh with the days of long elaborate lunches, the jokes, chats, talks, gossips and heart-felt sharing with colleagues.

All of this shaped me into the person that I am today.  Each Ambassador taught me something valuable.  My colleagues always shared tips and tricks from their previous postings.  All of them inspired me in one way or another.  I embraced the culture of the Peruvian people and, likewise, they did the same for our Malaysian and Asian way of life.

Do I miss it all?


No. 


Or maybe not yet.  

Or maybe never.

It is funny that people found it difficult to understand why I would want to leave a prestigious job, with a good salary and a great team of colleagues. It wasn't an overnight decision. I had given this a lot of thought and the seed was planted last July. Just like a premature baby, it bore fruit at 7 months.

I hadn't realised that I was tired of the work. Stimulating and diverse as it was, I found myself repeating tasks for the fourth time around. Although it was easier, the joy or pleasure I used to feel wasn't there anymore.

Although I became efficient at my work, I found myself more tired at the end of the day. Age has a part to play in it but I suspect that when the heart is no longer in it, the energy is drained faster.

So it was a choice between "being employed and being tired" or "being unemployed and being retired".

My retirement has everything to do with having done all my duties, paying for my own way and, now, to finally live for what really makes me happy.  A huge "thank you" to my husband for his support and love.

On 29 February 2012, I retired.  It's been three months already.


Until now, I have to pinch myself to believe that I have retired.  

Until now, I am loving every second of it.

To forgive, one must forget.

"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful

form of love. In return, you will receive

untold peace and happiness." 

- Dr. Robert Muller

I love talking to people. I should qualify that by adding "especially with the sensible ones". 

Everybody has a story to share. Some stories we will hate and wonder about. Some stories we will like and some we will love. The stories that we love are the ones that trigger some switch in our mind and makes us see things better.  The lesson for me is that in some stories when revenge is the motive for anger and hatred, it is better to walk away.

Unfortunately, some people  want to be friends with you just so they can disagree with everything you say. They just don't know any other way of filling their lives. They grumble about everything you mention but don't ever consider that they can choose to ignore you.

I had a bad experience recently.  I was friends with a couple.  Then "A" got dumped by "B".   "A" surprisingly began claiming that "B" was the most awful person on earth.  "A" found joy in cursing and swearing about "B" in every opportunity.  "A" claimed she was happy to be rid of "B",  but it wasn't enough. "A" had to round up the cavalry for support.  "A" wanted everyone to agree with her that she had suffered unfairly.  I didn't get it.  If someone awful is out of one's life, shouldn't one be glad?  Shouldn't one rejoice, even celebrate?   Why is it so hard to walk away?  Like a moth to a flame, "A" kept going on and on about it.  

Recently, I've learnt that it is a much better thing to remove yourself from a situation that harms your soul and which brings out the bully in you.  I had this person challenging me to remain civil and turning a blind eye to the ever-increasing intrusion into my space.  Every time she found an opportunity, she would jump on it.  For a while, I thought I'd be the bigger person and let her rant and rave.  Soon, I realised that what she really wanted was for me to join her choir.  She wanted me to rant and rave with her.  She wanted me on her side. Sadly for her, I wasn't going to play her game.

In the end, I found myself retaliating one for one.

In the end, I realise that it gave me no joy to be "mean" and "spiteful".  In wanting to win, it became a sin. The sin was allowing this other person to make me be what I am not. 

Tupac Shakur says what I feel perfectly, “You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the ....... on.” 

Finally, I decided to move on. Just like that. I did my best to reach her. I tried to be soft. I tried to be hard.    Nothing worked.  Even having a platform to let loose her steam wasn't enough.  I hoped that she would find comfort in knowing I understood. She wasn't interested.    So now, she can continue to preach to her clan.  Sad to say, "I'm done.  She's done.  We're done."

“There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.”

♡ French Proverb 

and

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.

- Rodin 

and, finally, I'm going to take Dale Carnegie's advice

It isn't what you have,

who you are,

where you are,

or what you are doing

that makes you happy or unhappy.

It's what you think about. 

I forgive her and, now, I'm going to forget her.

(Credit for all pics found on FB)

Of Choices, Chances and Changes

I have thought of this moment for ever so long.  It always seemed so far away in the distant future and now it is almost here.

I shall be taking a break from gainful employment.

When I first hinted about it last year, most people didn't believe that I would go ahead with this idea because I have been working since 1978.

For a while, even I didn't think I would follow through with this decision but some things happened in 2011 and made me take stock of what I wanted for 2012.  

Surprisingly, I received unexpected reactions from those near and dear to me.  However, there was only one that counted and that sealed the deal for me.

Soon enough, I shall close the chapter on a huge portion of my life.  

Soon enough, I shall begin a new chapter on a new adventure of my life.

(pics picked up from FB)

Did he know?

It's always hard to lose someone.  It's even worse when it's unexpected. While I don't consider myself an expert on grief, I do believe I qualify to speak about it.

At the end of anybody's life, the only question that really matters is, "Did he know you loved him?".

Did he know that you loved him when he was alive?  If he did, then you have walked the talk of love.  Love is not passive. It is active.

The point is that we have to show our love while people are alive!  Death is final.  There is no second chance.

You can claim to have loved someone so much and so hard after they are dead.  But if you didn't show it while they were alive, then it counts for nothing.

We have to remember this.

Live, love and never be afraid of saying "I love you".  Let them know.  

(All pics from the WWW)

Of hate and hurting; hope and healing

It always takes me by surprise when people hate because someone wants them to hate.  Maybe it's just me but I won't hate or ignore someone just because somebody says I should do so.  Even when I was young, I used to be firm about how I felt towards anyone.  I did not allow my parents or my siblings to infiltrate my mind.  I made and still make my own choices.  Well, I have a brain and I can choose to decide on my own.  I'm not someone's dog.  It's akin to being a dog.  The owner says "attack" and the dog attacks.  The owner says "heel" and the dog heels.

This is why I don't understand why people choose to hate and hurt for the most trivial of reasons or simply because of gossip.

Hearts can heal and humans can hope.  Isn't that easier?  I guess not.  It is just tougher for a person when their self-esteem depends on approval from other members of the family.  Maybe it's the inability to make a stand.  I get that.

I hear that it's a matter of "blood being thicker than water".  That is laughable.  If this is true then my husband will rank way below the thousands of relatives I have.  There's a fine line for first place between my husband and my child.  Parents and siblings take second place.  Then relatives take third place followed by the good friends in fourth and acquaintances in fifth and so forth.  Where does blood come into the picture?

In the end, I suspect that the one they hurt is really their own self.  They may think that their silence is elegant or that their family camaraderie is impressive but it's probably just a facade for an inability to live and to love graciously.

With this, I'm going to put it behind me.  I've done my part.  I stepped outside of my comfort zone to be friends with some unfriendly people.  Now I'm done.

As Oscar Wilde says, "Life is too important to be taken seriously."  So no regrets, just lessons learnt.

You can call it the universe, God, co-incidence or whatever suits you but I think I just had a nice cleansing of, probable and possible, toxic people in my corner of the world.

(pics from all over Facebook)

Of moving, moving on

Okay, Eric would have been 21 this year.


Doug's been gone 20 years now this year.


I'm done with the milestones. 


Sometimes, it's as simple as that.




                                                              I'm moving on.




I won't forget the love but I'm letting go of the pain.

Beauty is in the "i" of the beholder!

Lo and behold, that's me with my iPhone and iPad2.  Thanks to Steven Jobs and Stephen Grosse.

Earlier, Stephen gave me an iPod.  I didn't use it very much.  Then I found out that if you combine your iPod with Mitone Speakers, you get a remarkable sound system.

I was already satisfied with my Blackberry but when the contract to upgrade the phone came up, Stephen decided to get me the iPhone.  Two weeks later, he got me the iPad2.

I found these on the net and it seems appropriate to share it here.


The modern i-Family...
Son: iPod
Daughter: iPhone
Mom: iPad
Dad: iPAY!!!! :(

and another one

I am addicted. 

I bought all the iPhone, iPad, iTouch...

now iBroke,ihomeless and iRegret.

Sometimes...

Of seeing an angel

Most parents, if not all, will say that their child is an angel.  I don't know about the others but I know my child is an angel and I've got proof!

As they say on Hitz.FM........ G O T C H A!

Mwahahahahahahahahahaha

Of Facebook, Farmville and Friends

Recently, there was a rumour that Facebook was going to end on March 15.  Many thought it was real.  While some heralded it as the best news ever, others moaned and groaned.  Just as quickly as the news spread, it was quashed.

FACEBOOK

I know that many see Facebook as something evil, which eats away at proper socialising and swallows up the precious minutes from the 24 hours that we all get.  I see it as a great platform with which we can keep in touch with people, albeit in a virtual world.  Before Facebook, I lost touch with my family members.  The only time I met up with them was at a wedding or funeral.  On Facebook, I can see what each one is doing, where they are going, what they are up to and more.  I can "poke" them, comment on their status, send flowers or hugs, share pictures and the list goes on.  I've found relatives that I never knew I had before.  There's something to be said about being connected but having control over the distance.  The choice of being active or passive is in one's hands.

FARMVILLE

I play two games on Facebook.  One is Scrabble and the other is Farmville.  Yes, Farmville is a love it or hate it application.  I didn't know it would be so interesting until  I helped my son with his farm.  Then Stephen created one for me.  With that, I was hooked.  For the younger generation, I'd recommend it, instead of those games where you shoot and kill to gain points.  In Farmville, I notice that everyone helps each other happily and willingly.  I don't know of any other game where your competitors are so kind and helpful.  This refreshes my faith in humanity.  Again, for the younger generation, you will hone your skills for time management and business sense.  You have to plan and organise your farm for optimum performance.  In addition to all these advantages, you'll make friends with people who have the qualities that really count in life.

OLD FRIENDS

The friends that I had long forgotten and almost given up on of ever finding again have reappeared in my life.  The girls that I studied with and who were an integral part of my growing years are now back. Playing catch up with them is really wonderful.  

Then there are the students who are now married and who have kids of their own, I feel like a grandmother already.  When I am sad, I only have to say so on Facebook and I am immediately comforted by words or virtual gifts.  Who needs real stuff when the spirit in which the virtual gift is given is what makes it so valuable and counts so much.

NEW FRIENDS

Then there are the new friends.  They say "Make new friends, think of the old.  New is silver and old is gold". It's not true.  I have some new friends who I would classify as "gold".  Without Facebook, I wouldn't have had the possibility of ever knowing them.

So yeah, I love Facebook, Farmville and my friends.  

Life is so good and I am content. 

A hair wash, massage and blowdry

I don't know about other hair salons but the one I regularly go to, gives about 20 minutes of massage, in between washing your hair.  I just came back from visiting my favourite salon and timed each session.

15 minutes shampoo and head massage with light scratching

25 minutes massage (neck, back and upper arms)

10 minutes shampoo and head massage again

5 minutes hair rinsing and conditioning

10 minutes blowdry (my hair is medium length)

Cost:  RM21.00 (includes some extra conditioning stuff)

That's dirt cheap, if you ask me.  However, I always tip the girl who attends to me.

Most times when the place is crowded, the massage may only take 20 minutes.  Today, I guess I got an extra 5 minutes because it wasn't full.

I've had my hair washed in many places, including in Singapore.  I have tried all the different salons in Toa Payoh.  Including the ones that I've been to here in Kuala Lumpur, none give this extra service. 

Of course, the girls are not experts but they know enough to help you feel relaxed and I believe this is good for the blood circulation.  It's a quick fix for a hard day at work or home.  

I feel rejuvenated now.  *big smile of satisfaction*

If only they had a manicure and pedicure on the side.  Well, can't have everything, I say!

So if you are interested, let me know and we can make a date.  They are closed over the Chinese New Year holidays and reopen on 6 February 2011.  P.S.  wear a loose teeshirt for better service!  LOL!

(all pics from photobucket)

Lat tali lat tam pom

LAT TALI LAT TAM POM.  (Local version of the universal "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe")

I heard this on the radio recently.  Apparently, it's an "Old Town White Coffee" jingle.

I always thought it was "Lat Tali Lat Tam Pong".

I think there are many variations of this.  Depending on which state you are from.

My son says it's "Lat Tali Lat Tali Tam Plom".

His friend from Sabah says it's "Lai Lai Lee Lai Tam Plong".

Stephen says it's "Oh Bay Sohm".  *giggles*

I remember that, in my family, we used to have this extended one but I don't know where we got it from.

It goes like this

Lat Tali Lat Tam pong
Balik Kampong
Makan Kangkong
Masak Ikan Kembong
Beranak Dalam Tong
Keluar Anak Patong

Ahhhhhhh!  Childhood innocence.  Those were the days.

It looks like I wasn't the only one reminiscing.  Googled it and stumbled upon these fellow bloggers.
Lydia
Sam
Adam
Sid who has it in his header
and there are more....


(pic taken from here. Requested permission but no reply yet, so I'll remove it if I'm told).

Of being in a scam! Part 2

I meant to put this up earlier but procrastination got the better of me.

Until now, I still worry about family and friends who get caught up with scams.  This story came out in Singapore's Asia One News.

It is eerily similar to one I know of but circumstances did not permit me to share it.  

I wanted to do so in the hope that someone would benefit from it.  Everyone should be warned and alerted about the many untrustworthy people that prey on kindness and goodness.

Take the time to read this and share with others.  If only one person can be helped, then it is already all worthwhile.

S$10,606 lost to Internet 'lover'                                      

                                                                                                                                                 

Mon, Nov 22, 2010

New Straits Times

         

                                                                                                                                           

JOHOR BARU - Crime syndicates here are using the cyberspace relationships they have built through emails and social networking sites to cheat.

Police are currently investigating a case where a 47-year-old male lecturer fell victim to a syndicate that used an elaborate scheme popularly known as the "Customs Scam" to cheat him of RM25,500 (S$10,606) last week.

In the case reported at the Taman Pelangi police station on Nov 17, the lecturer said he was deceived into forming a strong relationship with a British woman by the name of Linda Bells.

Having established his trust over two weeks, the woman wrote of an impending holiday to Malaysia and asking him to meet her at the Kuala Lumpur International Airport.

The lecturer said in his report that he went to KLIA, but his Internet friend did not arrive.

Instead, he received a telephone call from a man claiming to be from the Royal Customs and Excise Department.

The man alleged that the British women had been detained by Customs officers at the KLIA for not declaring STG250,000 (S$499,145).

Following several conversations, the man said the matter could be resolved upon the transfer of RM1,500 (S$624), which later ballooned to RM25,500, into a bank account.

The lecturer also alleged that he received telephone calls from people claiming to represent the Royal Malaysian Customs in KLIA as well as the British High Commission in Kuala Lumpur, saying he could meet his friend at the Sultan Ismail Airport in Senai.

He eventually deposited RM25,500 into the bank account of a Malaysian.

He only suspected something amiss when his "online friend" did not arrive at the Sultan Ismail Airport in Senai as promised the next day.

He then lodged a report with the police.

Johor police chief Datuk Mokhtar Shariff said police had received many similar reports, including the latest email hoax on the late Indonesian President Suharto's alleged gold bullion.

"The public must not be gullible and fall prey to these tricksters. If in doubt, check with the relevant authorities," he said yesterday.

Mokhtar also advised the public to exercise caution when communicating and socialising in cyberspace.

"People must treat any unsolicited friendship through social networking sites and emails with suspicion."

-New Straits Times

Click on link for original location of this news.

S$10,606 lost to Internet 'lover'

Of memories

The popular lines are "The memories closest to my heart are those in which you have a part".  I think it is very true.  You can see this when people live their lives surrounded by all the things of their past.  Unconsciously, they cling to objects and photos because they cannot let go.

Here is a story I know of.  I wonder if anyone has a similar one!

I wonder, “are you over me yet?

Is it so hard for you to forget?

You told our friends you had enough

Kept quiet about your new found love

You spread stories about what I did

Yet  your infidelity you hid

The love had died so why pretend

You wanted life in that foreign land

So if the choice I made to leave

Works out for us, why do you grieve?

You have our pictures on your wall

You put our old stuff in your hall

Does he not mind that I am there

In his own house, does he not care?

Surrounded by old memories

how much of me you really miss

The dress you wore on your big day

Was real familiar, I should say

It made me smile to see that pic

A joke that somehow seems real sick

You reached behind into your past

Of what should only be just dust

I don’t know why you did just that

For you I did feel sort of sad

You should let go, give up your hope

That without you, I cannot cope

I have moved on and found a wife

I have real love, I have a life

I wish you well with your illusions

As well as all the fake allusions

That you are happy and just fine

Because I can see through that line

 You say too much about everything

with non-stop pretence and acting

If you are happy, people will know

And I think that it will show

 

So clear your house of things with me

And you will really be quite free

You owe it to yourself and him

Or else your future is quite dim

So are you over me yet?

Clean up your house, then we bet

For until then, and I can tell

You see me there I know it well

I once was yours but now no more

And it is such a point so sore

That you settled for who you’re with

And make it seem it was your wish

I know better and so do you

Call your bluff, that I won’t do

Just hope that you get over me

Only then can you be free.

Of 3 Angels

There are days when everything works out so well that you feel so immensely blessed.  Then there are also days when nothing goes right.

Yesterday was one of those days.

I needed transport to Bangsar because I didn't have my car.

Angel 1 sent me there
Angel 1 also paid for my lunch



Feeling good, I then discovered that I left my passport at home

Angel 2 sold off my 2.30 pm ticket
Angel 2 got me a seat on the 4.30 pm bus



Feeling anxious about how to retrieve my passport from home

Angel 3 came to pick me up
Angel 3 sent me back to Bangsar.

Three obstacles and yet everything worked out so well.  Yes, I remembered to thank my lucky stars and also the angels that made everything run so smoothly.  Small blessings are so necessary.

It isn't the first time that people have just appeared, out of nowhere, to help me.  I am truly blessed.

(all pics from photobucket)