15 October 2009

People don't change! Or do they?

What do you think? Do people change? I sometimes think about these things when I am driving. I spend my hours stuck in traffic doing housekeeping with my thoughts. Weird huh!
Anyway, I wonder if people change with time. I’ll come back about me later because for now I’m going to list some real life anecdotes (all names withheld, for obvious reasons).
Story 1
A female specimen abandons her first husband to fly across the ocean to spend Christmas with a practical stranger. Someone she has never met before but whom she has gotten to know via emails, online chatting and maybe phone calls. The marriage ended soon after her brief holiday with another man. Ten years down the road and this same person, now remarried, decides to take a holiday, again at Christmas time. Is this normal behaviour? So some people don’t’ change.
Story 2
Someone of the male species marries at a very young age. Still a teenager, he becomes a father. The marriage suffers and ends in divorce. Who would have expected it to last when both parents were so young? Anyway, he meets someone new. He remarries and has another child and again the marriage breaks up. Therefore, some people don’t change.
Story 3
A man looks for a partner who can cook because he loves to eat. He finds her, marries her but do they live happily ever after? No! Good food is not enough to keep two people together. Now this man has remarried someone who can’t cook. Is it working out? Yes, it seems to be so! It’s love that keeps them together. Therefore, some people do change.
Story 4
A married acquaintance preaches about the dangers of pre-marital sex. Her husband goes out of the country to work. She ends up in a relationship with a close friend. The marriage breaks up. She now lives with that close friend in another state. She preaches differently now. Hence some people do change.
Story 5 (me)
Ahem! I’m sure you can’t wait for this.
I used to have the storybook life: police husband, teacher wife, two great kids, car, house, and enough food on the table, an ordinary life. It was all that I could ever want or need. Then the situation changed and me with it. I now know that it’s not enough to live a storybook life.
One doesn’t have to follow all the rules that society dictates. The only absolute law of life is to live it and to change accordingly.


Patricia said...

I think we can change who we are cosmetically. Maybe. But deep, deep inside - we are organically and fundamentally the same.

Education, reading the 'right' stuff, the influence of religion, friends, husbands, children - they all bend our minds somewhat.

But, in the corners of our heart, who we are, what we think, and how we feel about things remain more or less the same for all our lives.

If there is any one thing with the will to make us change dramatically, it is love. Absolute love - for a man or woman, or a child, or a parent - that will ring changes inside us. And usually, for the better :)


Estrelita Soliano Grosse said...

Pat dear, I am sure you are the "voice of reason" in this very often unreasonable world.

I agree that, fundamentally, we are the same, deep down inside of us and so history sometimes repeats itself. The pattern of behaviour proves it.

However, it's the thought process that sometimes tips the balance and makes for a different approach.

And yes, ABSOLUTE LOVE does a remarkable job always.


Antares said...

Usd to change my underwear daily... until I quit the habit and stopped buying underwear! Better ventilation, no sweat, especially if you stick mainly to sarongs :-)

Estrelita Soliano Grosse said...


Why? oh Why am I always surprised to see your quirky yet ever so welcome comments?

Loved it loads!!!! xoxox

Richard Loh said...

Take the poll:

Is UMNO A Racist Party

Jessen said...

IMHO, if something happens once, it'll definitely happen again in future. Except dying. :p

Estrelita Soliano Grosse said...

Richard, What are you doing with that poll here? Never mind, I'm letting it pass. Just for you, okay!!! :)

Estrelita Soliano Grosse said...

Jessen, IMHO, I think that sometimes people change and learn from mistakes. At least, the good guys lah!

However, the mean ones don't. They just get worse! hahaha.