27 March 2010

Me and my sex or your sex!

When I was born, I was the third child. Two females preceded me. By then, I would imagine that my parents would have had their fingers and toes crossed, and thought "third time lucky" but, lo and behold, another baby girl.

Was my mom sad? Was my dad disappointed? I will never know.

I do know, however, that they did give it a final shot and had a son four years later.

No matter where you live, I think that most couples secretly long for a son. Why? Who really knows?

What makes us women feel this unseen pressure to produce an heir to the 'throne'? Does it make the family "whole"?

I readily admit that I did feel some apprehension when I was expecting my first child. I so wanted a baby boy! When I had a miscarriage, I had a small tinge of remorse at not hoping for a healthy baby, regardless of the sex. Yet, when I conceived again, I so wanted a baby boy again. Who plants these ideas in our subconscious?

Shouldn't we be immune to these thoughts since motherhood is such a noble and natural part of our being?

I feel certain that after two girls, my mom prayed for a boy. Yet, I don't ever remember being treated differently. Heck, I don't even remember the day my brother was born.  There's nothing in my childhood that made me believe I was any lesser for being a girl.

All through my growing years, I never had any notion that baby boys were coveted. Well, at least, among us three girls and one boy, there was no hint of disparity in how we were brought up. In fact, I did hear comments that my brother would grow up to be 'girlish' and 'gay-ish'. Hah!! He's as macho as they come!

Yet, somewhere, somehow, this belief that I should want a baby boy was planted in my mind. Who put it there?

Have I missed having a daughter to call my own? I really wouldn’t know. It’s not the same but a consolation is that I have two beautiful nieces and they come wonderfully close to having my own girls.

In today's world, is there anything totally gender biased?  The line that divides the sexes is too fine.  No one sex really has a monopoly anymore.

Be that as it may, it's not about your sex or mine or even that of a baby. It's just about living, loving and ignoring the non-essential detail.

A child is, after all, a gift to us!


Pat said...

Fingers and toes crossed - and out popped Lita, another girl!!! Hahahah!

My mum and dad had four girls. I think my dad wanted a son, but he never made us feel any lesser because we weren't boys.

When I was pregnant for the first time, I wanted a boy - but for my dad. For me, I just wanted anything that was a mini-Chuan.

And then we did the scan, and the doc said: It's a girl. Was I disappointed? No, she looked so real on the screen, I was simply filled with wonder.

Yes, you are so right. Too many are missing the point - that a child's a gift. That lasts a lifetime. How cool is that?!

Stephen Felix Grosse said...

I am glad you were born a girl on that lovely day, March 21, 1959. God had a plan for you and I. Nine months later, he made a boy, now a man...ME.......Hahahahahaha.

Cheers to my adorable baby wife.

Estrelita Soliano Grosse said...

Pat, I missed that punchline! Hmmmm the part that a child is a gift that lasts a lifetime. I love that thought. Even when I knew it in my subsconscious mind, I consciously forgot it.

Thanks for your very welcome and wonderful sharing in your comment.


Estrelita Soliano Grosse said...

SFG, You really have a way with words! So full of humour, which is your trademark.

You are a great combination of love and laughter.


Anonymous said...

I think the future generation wouldn't mind gender issue. Like my parents had 3 girls. I was the eldest and my mum would let me know her disappointment that i was not a son and because of that she was degraded by her mum-in-law. When my mum found out the fourth was also a girl, she aborted the baby as she can't handle the pressure. All 3 of us were raised like an investment commodities. My message is if you as a parent do really mind about gender issue, get a professional help to determine the right gender or don't have babies at all which make them suffer a loveless life!

Estrelita Soliano Grosse said...

Anonymous 12.03: Thank you for sharing. It's the reason why I sometimes write what I do.

You make me glad when you've seen the blog and felt prompted to say something and you do so.

Thank you, whoever you are! God bless! :)