12 July 2010

Of drifting, drumming and dreaming

Jared is twenty-four today.  I took this picture of him just a couple of weeks ago when we were in Singapore.  We drove down south and during that time, we talked about everything under the sun.  We have our moments when we share what's in our hearts and minds.  I love those times because it's when I really get to know him better.  We are friends even if we are mother and son.

When his father died, I told him that I had lost my best friend.  I told him that he would be my best friend now.  Being only 4 years old, he didn't really understand and he replied that he wanted to be my son. Little did he know that he has been the best friend I could ever have hoped for!

For a while, Jared was drifting around without any direction.  He wasn't afraid to work hard though.  He did whatever job that came along.  Much as I had wanted him to study some more, I didn't want to impose my own dreams on him either.  So I let him be and he found his niche along the way.  Some of life's lessons cannot be taught.  They have to be learnt.  

He did what he could and now he is doing what he enjoys.  He works for his living, plays music and teaches too.  At his age, they can do it all!  He's been adrift but he's always stayed afloat.

Jared's love for drums started way before I even knew he had music in his genes.  As a small boy, I don't remember him going around, with chopsticks, playing on pots and pans.  Maybe I wasn't paying too much attention and I didn't notice.  When he was about ten, a musician told me that he's a natural and could be a good drummer.  This was way back when Blues Cafe was around.  Jared was fooling around with the drum set and although I didn't really see his potential, I nodded in delight.  

Then when he was in his early teens, he took part in a music contest in church and the band won the first prize.  It was then that I saw him sitting behind the drum set and playing for the first time.  I was so proud of him because he had done it all on his own.  Practised and gotten everything together without ever bothering me for anything.  I saw it as a sign of independence and determination.  He knew what he wanted and he set out to do it on his own.  Today, he's quite an accomplished drummer.  He still has some ways to go but certainly, he’s on his way.  

What would life be, if we didn't have dreams?  I don't know what Jared dreams about.  I don't even think about it at all except that today is his birthday, and I wonder what his aspirations are and what he sees, for himself, in his future.  When I was 24, I didn't even have a dream or illusions about my life.  Well, I was married when I was 24.  Today's world sees people tying the knot much later in life.  I don't suppose that Jared will be marrying soon.  The world is his oyster.  He lives in a happy world, surrounded by family and friends who love him dearly.  

I wonder what awaits him in the year ahead.  Today heralds a new year for him.  For him, it is a fresh beginning and leaving the past behind, in order to be able to see new twists and turns in the road of life.  If all he ever achieves in life is knowing good from bad and right from wrong, then I think it is enough.  Too many think that they need to have more or to have it all.  They think that when they accumulate money, titles, degrees and properties, it makes them better.  In my opinion, it doesn't.

I'm his mom but many will agree with me that Jared is a good person without a bad bone in his body.  In today's environment, that is an achievement.

Well-done, son!  Happy Birthday!

D and I love you so much and we are so very proud of the person you have become.


Stephen Grosse said...

Happy birthday boy. You are a real gem. Cheers. D.

Johan H said...

That is the sweetest birthday card a mum can ever give her son, and its complete with photos! Both of you are truly blessed. My best wishes to him too!

KS Cheah said...

Happy Birthday Jared! Wishing you a great year ahead.

Hi Lita, you said Jared was once drifting and I think you have been his beacon through it all. Of course a short period of drifting can also be good for the soul ;o)

As a parent, I can only hope to have imparted the right values to my children. I see you have done well.


Michelle Soliano said...

Touches my heartstrings as a mom......and as a friend...good job Lita on raising a fine young man....

Angel Daroya said...

Couldnt agree more...very well said ....

Hani Ibrahim said...

A very sweet article.....love it, Lita!

BravoEagleHotel said...

Happy Birthday Jared .. WOW !
As parents guess thats what we wanna see all those qualities in our kids.
Independence yet not strayed .

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday darling Jared! I have known you for 12 years now! Lita, He's everything you say and more. Beautiful soul with a gorgeous smile. Well done Lita! Hope I'm as successful!

Jared said...

Hi all, thank you so much!! :) I honestly don't know any other person who is as strong as my mother, who could have done a better job in raising me up after the loss of 2 important people back to back within a year. In some way, god has blessed us with each other because he knows best for us, like wise with my dreams, drumming and drifting, you're there to guide me through, my best friend. When daddy and eric died, in those times while you were drifting and dreaming, I helped you through, your best friend. :) and overall, I couldn't have asked for a better mother who undertands me best, you're always there when I'm put to the test, somehow I make it through, with or without you, but never have you failed to always be my a shoulder to cry on, to me, you will always be the best mom (: I love you.

Pat said...

A belated happy birthday, Jared.

A beautiful boy your have there, Lita - in every sense of the word.


Antares said...

Jared, happy 24! What an amazing mum, eh? :-)

Jared said...

indeed she is :)

STEEST said...

To Stephen, Johan, KS, Michelle, Angel, Hani, BravoEagleHotel, Boney, Pat, Antares and also Jared!

Thank you for adding to my joy at celebrating Jared's 24th birthday.

Much love always


zorro said...

Lita...over the occasions I met Jared I was convinced that more than being your son, he is your guardian angel....keeping his distance during vigils but always around. He is Douglas in a way.

His drumming....hey the Soliano genes lah. I can still hear your Daddy's enigmatic touch on the piano. Last Friday night at No Black Tie, Tengku Vic told me to get PD Alan D'Cruz to get somebody to do a docu on the Solianos. Capital idea huh?

zorro said...

forgot....give him a tight hug for me being a belated birthday wish.

STEEST said...

Dear Zorro,

Sorry I took so long to comment!

Much appreciated your wishes for him and also the possibility of docu on the Soliano family.

Take care always! Hugs back for you.

Cruzer said...

His b'day on July 12. Mine on July 11. Must try to celebrate together, this year. Let's go to the Rainforest World Music Festival July 13.

STEEST said...

Ah yes, sounds like a plan but we are planning a trip to Penang. :)