WYSIWYG

pic source

In computerese, the title is an acronym for "What You See Is What You Get".

This also applies to life. At least, life as I see it. It isn't always so simple. What you see is not what you get because there are so many frauds out there. What you see is what they want you to and not what is reality.

The many smiling faces out there hide a truth that sometimes is totally the opposite of what they portray. I find that this is usually the case. People scream out that they are smart; I think they want to be smart! Some insist they are happy, I think they don't really know for sure. It seems to me that they need validation. They do, say and act in a particular way only to garner specific responses. It's a funny kind of gratification they crave. Yet, I'm quite sure that even when they manage to get the standard and polite responses, the hollow low self-esteem is still there. Why? One needs to be true to oneself first!

Recently, I had a late lunch with a new friend. Lunch soon stretched to tea and before we realised it, the time showed it was nearly 5 pm. With this friend, I know that what I see is what I get. She has a blog and I've been there many times. She writes from her heart. However, the real test is when you meet up with her and engage in a conversation with her. Ahhhhhhhhhh! Up close and personal, she speaks from her heart too. She is who she says she is. She is one of those rarities that is genuine. With her, WYSIWYG.

When you sit down for 4 hours with anyone, you share your minds and not just empty words on paper or in cyberspace. In cyberspace, there is no direct interaction. If you use social tools like Facebook or Friendster, you can pretend till the cows come home. Everything can be made to seem hunky-dory. Only a sharp mind can see beyond those pictures and words (which may or may not be your own). Only in a physical meeting, can anyone truly know another person and what is real or made up.

Being acutely aware of the many fakes in this world, I am always mindful that who I am and what you see is what you get 24/7. If I put something here, it's what I truly believe in. If I'm not sure, I'll say so and you'll get that from reading the entire post. If you are following my blog, you'll also know if I use a quote or I am pasting something from a source.

I'm aware that some people do just that. They browse websites and then they copy, paste and edit it a bit and then call it their own. If I were rude, I'd quote the Chinese who have a crude saying that goes like this "Take someone's backside to be your face". My unprofessional opinion, however, is that it must stem from having some feeling of inferiority.

I don't like cooking and I would never boast that I could. When I was young, I used to dance and even performed in some hotels but I wouldn't make that claim now! If I can, I do. If I can't, I won't fake it! Why should I? Everyone is given different talents and we do the best that we can with it. It would be like asking my mom to cook a dish and then I put it in a nice receptacle and send it to my colleague saying that I made it. Pathetic, yes?

Why do some people have a need to portray to unsuspecting family and friends that they are super intelligent? How will they justify this pretense when they have to have a one-on-one conversation? Won't it be glaringly obvious then?

I used to know a man who boasted that he could speak convincingly on any topic for half an hour. I thought he was being haughty but later I found that, indeed, he could and he was not joking. He was an extremely intelligent person and he wasn't just saying it to impress people. It was really a facet of his character. I heard that he's passed on now and whether he knew it or not, his wit and wisdom touched my life.

I can only hope that my family and friends feel WYSIWYG when they are with me.

Merry Christmas

Our family christmas tree in KL

It's different because it hasn't a star or angel at the top. It's draped in red baubles, silver globes and poinsettias. The fibre optic lights help to make it bright, bold and beautiful.

I love Christmas. Everything about it makes me smile. People become nicer, kinder and they smile more.

Our tree isn't huge. Nor is it tiny! To me, it's just symbolic of the Christmas celebration. In Singapore, we have a mini metal one and I've tied red ribbons to make it merry. We used to have a tree but we have since given it away to another family more in need of one.

Do we feel less of the Christmas spirit without the tree adorning our living room in Singapore?

No!

We revel in the knowledge that our tree is now in someone's home. That family will gather on Christmas day and celebrate what is most important about this season! The feeling of being together and sharing and caring.

One day at a time!
One step at a time!
One gesture at a time!

That's all it takes to make this world a better place. I usually don't cut and paste but I would like to share this!

1 CORINTHIANS 13 CHRISTMAS VERSION

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling
lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another
decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies,
preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at
mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home, and give all that
I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend
a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata, but do not
focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.
Love sets aside decorating to kiss the husband.
Love is kind, though harried and tired.
Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and
table linens.
Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they
are there to be in the way.
Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices
in giving to those who can't.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all
things.
Love never fails.
Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust.
But giving the gift of love will endure.

-- Author Unknown

Here's wishing you folks

To all those reading this, thanks for dropping by! May God bless you in a special way today!

Christmas is for the children

I began my christmas work at home in mid-November. I usually take my time to take out the seven boxes of stuff. This doesn't include the Christmas tree or the nativity set. It takes me about two to three weeks to remove all the other things, dust and then re-arrange the hundreds of christmas decorations that I have.

This year, I'd given away about one-third of my things. I'm a true-blue Christmas shopper. I can't resist buying new things even when I already have so many. Despite, trimming down the trimmings, it still took a lot of my evenings and nights to get the home ready for Christmas.

Experience has taught me that an investment in a fibre-optic tree cuts down stress and unnecessary time to first, test the lights and then, nicely drape the tree. So for the last two years, I really enjoyed just taking out the tree, plugging it in and "voila", the lights work fine!!!!!

By the way, my Uncle Ralph sent this to me and it's really hilarious. The picture is worth a thousand words.



So why exactly does anyone do up the house for Christmas?

In my case, I do it for my child. And I will do it for my grandchildren, when that time comes.

Since I shuttle between KL and Singapore, and usually spend my Christmas down south, I hardly ever get to enjoy the eve of Christmas at home with the lights aglow and seeing all the presents under the tree. However, even when I am not home, I know that my son will have a home decorated, literally with love, for Christmas. I know that he will know how much of my time and energy had gone into transforming the entire house for him for Christmas. That is my reward. The bonus is when he tells me his friends visit and marvel at the total Christmas look.

Even the neighbours that I hardly know, stop, smile and ask if they can come in to have a look. They've said that it looks like Santa lived here. One year, when I had gone overboard, I was told that the living room looked like a Christmas shop at the mall, with all the tiny knick knacks and poinsettias everywhere. I've mellowed since then!

Christmas is for the children. Without them, the whole celebration is just another event for adults.

Christmas is also about remembering Christ. He is the reason for the season.

PS
When I kena the lottery, I'm going to buy the biggest fibre-optic tree for my friend, Stephen Francis!

Mothers or Martyrs

Late last night, I received an sms asking if I was awake and if I had some words of wisdom to spare. Well, perhaps to share would have been a better word. The sender of the sms was lamenting that her children were ungrateful. They only look for her when they are in need and when things get better; they disappear without a word of gratitude. She went on to tell me that she could forget it but she felt hurt and disappointed. I did not really get what she was trying to say. My advice to her was to let it be. I told her to do what she could and to be happy to have helped. Most important of all, I told her to do it with a giving heart. Not to expect anything in return for whatever kindness done is probably best.

Frankly, her problem is that she helped her children with the idea that she would receive something in return.

I thought about it a little more. I wonder if mothers are supposed to be martyrs. Surely, that isn’t a pre-requisite.

I have heard of mothers who give their all and do their utmost for their children. They are self-sacrificing and think nothing of themselves except to be the model and perfect mom. On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve also heard of mothers who give birth then leave the kids to maids and never really have that natural mother/child bond. To the latter, having that baby was just part of an agenda in the book of life. I know that there a millions of scenarios and these are just two.

I think that expecting some acknowledgement from one’s children for what we do for them is not entirely wrong. However, if we want gratitude (in the form of a reward), then it becomes bizarre.

I don’t imagine myself as a “perfect” mom. I suspect it’s kinder on the children when the mother has flaws. It makes her approachable. A less than perfect mom would also be able to empathize with a child that is learning, searching and making mistakes along the way.

I remember when my boys were toddlers, “Dynasty” or “Dallas” were the hits on TV. I was a great fan in those days. When the show came on, my boys knew that whatever they asked of me, during that one-hour show, I would respond with, “Wait for the advertisement!” They understood that it was “my” time and that during the intervals I would attend to them. If they forgot, I only had to say “Wait” and they would finish my sentence with “for the advertisement!” It turned out to be a game for them. Did it make me a bad mom? I don’t think so. My sons gained valuable lessons there. I think they learnt not to be demanding. They know that waiting a while is not a bad thing. Probably some moms knowing I did this would cringe in horror that I could put TV before my sons. My own aged aunts raised their eyebrows at the many unorthodox methods I have used with my own flesh and blood. In reality, it’s my decision since it’s my responsibility.

Today, everyone tells me that my son is such a “nice” person. “Nice” is good! “Nice” is what’s inside of him. The external qualities don’t mean a thing unless his heart is nice. I’m patting myself on my own shoulder for this!

Coming back to a mother being a martyr, I believe that a mother, who does everything out of love for her child, does not ever expect anything in return, not even gratitude. The mothers who have mechanically looked after their child, doing only what society expects them to do, are the ones that end up feeling unloved, unappreciated, disappointed and sad.

This is probably what happened to my night smser. Her kids are all grown up. They are all married. She feels her job is done and it’s payback time. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. They all have their lives to lead. The sooner she realises it, the better it will be for her.

Such is life!

Compete or Complete?

Pic from here

Stephen recently lost a lot of weight from watching his diet and exercising. He had made a dramatic change to his lifestyle and now looks fighting fit. A couple of months ago, we met the former Staff Sergeant of the Commando Unit that he belonged to, when he was in the army. Oh yes, Stephen used to be a Commando with a red beret! Anyway, Staff Sergeant Seah stopped to chat with us, as we had our breakfast. He said he was happy to see that Stephen is keeping to a regular fitness regime. He only cautioned that it was necessary to “complete not compete”.

He is right. We hear of so many people who have dropped dead even before reaching 50 years! They push themselves to better their times, to get ahead of the one in front of them and, often, they accidentally beat the clock of life way before their time.

Those words played around in my mind for a while. I see that it is also an apt description to life. I know that many go about in a perpetual competition. They wake up each day with no inkling of what really matters. Their sole purpose is to compare and compete to win. They cannot wait to shout that their home is bigger. Their job pays more. Their spouse is better looking. Their car has a higher capacity. Even their continent is better! They are the ones that say such high faluting stuff like their mansion is just “a humble abode” or that their BMW is old because it’s last year’s model or that their holiday destination is pending because they can’t decide yet.

Life is a journey for us to complete. The competing is not going to change the fact that when we die, our journey is complete. If we spend all that time, living to compete with those around us, then we miss what is important.

I think that even before I met Staff Sergeant Seah, I already knew that in the race of life, I have to run to complete and not compete. Okay, I'm going to be running along now.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha

pic from here

Happy 50th Birthday! But who's counting?

I decided to add this song because it epitomises what I am feeling right now, enjoy it while you read this post!


youtube credit

I travelled across half of peninsula Malaysia, a 5-hour journey, to reach Singapore, before midnight so that I could be with the one I love.

Was it an arduous journey? No,it wasn’t, as I only had to sit and doze throughout. Thoughts of reaching my destination and being with the man who greets me with that twinkle in his eye makes it all worthwhile.

He’s 50 today. It’s no big deal, age is just in the mind. Isn’t everyone bandying the phrase “50 is the new 30”?

So this blog post has to be all about him and I’ll start with adjectives that best describes him.

S – SEXY
T – TALENTED
E – EXCITING
P – PROTECTIVE
H – HANDSOME
E – ENERGETIC
N – NAUGHTY

G – GENEROUS
R – ROMANTIC
O – OUTSTANDING
S – SINCERE
S – SPONTANEOUS
E – ENDEARING

He’s all that and more. He’s kind, witty, caring and loving. I really lucked out when I met him. My life is filled with so much joy because of him.

Thank you for every moment of happiness.

Happy Birthday, Baby Grosse!

Ignorance is bliss

This is just a short rant!

Every workday, I drive along the Old Airport Road, enter the Smart Tunnel, and exit at Tun Razak Road. Usually I head straight for the underpass along with all the motorists that come via Sungei Besi and the Maju Expressway. 5 lanes squeeze into the 3 lanes which make the rush hour traffic heavy and sometimes painfully slow. Add to this, the motorcycles who are NOT permitted to use the underpass and you have an accident waiting to happen.

Well, not that the motorcyclists should be faulted but I’ve noticed if you signal to change lanes, these motorcyclists horn you as if to say, “Stay in your lane”, I’m passing by”. Although they have no right to be in that underpass or tunnel or whatever you want to call it, they ride by all the NO MOTORCYLES signs without a care in the world and they have the audacity to blare their horns at you if you get in their way.

Grrrrrrr!

I’m not a snob. If I ride a motorbike, I’d adhere to the rules. I won’t drive in the motorcycle lanes and the motorcycles shouldn’t drive where they are not supposed to.

It’s simple really. Either remove those signs (and there are many of them) going into and out of KL or enforce the rule.

It’s a mandatory road sign which ALL motorcyclists are now oblivious to.

A failed state

I received a long email this morning and the part in it that caught my attention was this line,

One conclusive hallmark of a failed state is that the crooks are inside the government, using government to protect and to advance their private interests.

I'm always impressed when people write well. I'm even more fascinated when they write factual stuff in an interesting way. What takes the cake is when they write well about factual stuff in an interesting way and when absolutely everyone can understand when they read it.

Last year, around this time, I wrote about this

Bullshit Protector

Many of us are in dire need of this. Wonder who's selling and where?


I got this picture, in an email, from my cousin. Can't give credit to the origin since I don't know.

about a year ago, I wrote ....

Beyond Beyoncé

pic from here

I’m going to join the many that have already touched on the cancellation of Beyoncé’s concert. Like those who have written, I’m not a particular fan of Beyoncé. If you asked me about her songs, I’d really have to think long and hard about it. Oh, okay, now I remember one of them, “Irreplaceable”.

The reason for this post is just to share a perspective about it.

I have three Muslim brothers. Two are married and one is single. Their ages range from early-thirties to mid-forties. As far as I can tell, neither of them would be affected by the singer because of her dressing. Not even if they were still young and impressionable, would I imagine them to be stimulated by her gyrations or scanty dressing.

Oh gosh, this type of publicity does little or nothing to help the image of Muslim men. Are they not able to face temptation (if any) and walk away? Why are they being portrayed as weak-willed and easily influenced (read aroused) by someone with a lovely body who can shake her booty?

What hope is there for Muslim men to find any partner, if women are being brainwashed into thinking that they would not be able to control their desires because someone is singing and dancing on stage? Sheesh!

So let’s get real. We see Beyoncé on MTV, in magazines and in movies. What makes a concert different? Why do we send out this message that the mindset of the male Muslim fraternity is so pathetic and has to be watched over so rigidly?

The authority that blows hot and cold over these tiny, irrelevant issues is mind boggling!

Exceptional! Yes. Unmatched! Yes. Unique! Yes. Only in Malaysia! Yes.

365 days ago

DINK or SINK

You may or may not know that DINK is an acronym for “Double Income No Kids”. Apparently, the word came about in the 80s at the height of the “yuppie - Young, Urban Professionals” culture.

Most of us, married with children, would have begun our married lives (if both were working) as DINKs or perhaps we’d be known as DINKYs (Double Income No Kids Yet) then. The natural progression of which is to enjoy a childfree marriage and to be eventually ready to propagate humanity with mini versions of ourselves.

It’s my guess that confirmed DINKs deliberately chose not to have kids because they had no time, no inclination, or any interest in expanding their dynasty. It is commendable that those, who do not have strong paternal/maternal instincts, choose to remain childfree. We all see and hear enough of babies abandoned at birth, children left to fend for themselves, or even neglected. So perhaps it is some blessing in disguise that these people, although they can well meet the expense of looking after a child, decide not to have any because they know their own limitations. Finance is not the issue here but the emotional aspects of bringing up a kid from scratch. I guess it’s safe to say that if one is not capable of handling the emotional upheaval that comes with having a child then; it’s a good decision.

On the other extreme, there are those who can’t afford to have a child and yet have one after another. In this case, I believe it’s lack of family planning plus an attitude of “we’ll get by” somehow. Sadly, this is not the same world as when our parents or grandparents lived in. Back then, we used to hear of people having 10, 12 or even 14 children. Today, we hardly hear of this practice. I know of a young couple who have five children. They are so proud to be parents but they can barely feed themselves. How will they manage? Those kids are going to grow up directionless. I hope I am wrong.

We hear of women in war torn countries giving birth when there isn’t enough food to get through the day. I don’t understand this at all. There’s an imbalance in the way things should be. Those that can afford do not and those that cannot do.

In the case of DINKs, it’s possible that both are working and neither wants to give up their job to stay at home and take care of a child. Sometimes I think it’s also because both don’t have any desire for children. They don’t have the space and time for anybody else in their lives except for each other and that’s fair. There is no point in having a child and regretting it later. There is no turning back once that child is here.

However, I think that as careers take off and when retirement is on the horizon, life begins to slow down and somehow there’s a feeling of missing something. I am only guessing here, since I have a child.

However, I’ve seen a couple of my own family members who died alone; with no spouse, no children and I felt sad for them. I think of those without children who gloat because they didn't have to struggle through the difficult years. What will become of these people when they are old and have no one with them? I am sure that as they got on with their childfree lives, they saw the majority of their friends go through the phase of having babies, struggling with school-going kids, handling terrible teenagers and juggling all that goes hand-in-hand with being a parent. Perhaps during those moments, they would have felt relief at not having to deal with that roller-coaster ride we all take with our kids.

Nevertheless, at the end of it all, when one gets older, that cranky baby, that naughty child or that incorrigible teenager becomes an adult and goes off to find his or her own path. This is when all that went into the growing-up years begins to pay off. You find that your child is an extension of yourself. Certainly not exactly the same person as you are, but a nice replica. I’ve read somewhere that childbirth is the only time we can assist God in creating a miracle. I like that idea and the knowledge that my genes do not end with me, makes me smile. A not-too-distant future with grandchildren fills my heart with anticipated joy.

And what of the SINKs! I made that up! Single Income No Kids. Same as DINKs, only worse because one works and the other stays home and can afford the time for a child. No kids because well, because they don’t know, just like DINKs, that when they grow old and have only each other and when the other is gone, loneliness awaits.

I’m sure there isn’t any hard and fast rule about having or not having a child. Those that don’t, usually have their reasons and I respect that completely. Those that do, join the club because the future is just going to get better and better.

This post is just to put down in words some of my thoughts.

So, what say you?

HAPPY FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS!

Warmest wishes for Shun, Esme, Shakun and Vayshna,
other family members, friends and all those who visit this space.

May this be the best Deepavali ever!

People don't change! Or do they?

What do you think? Do people change? I sometimes think about these things when I am driving. I spend my hours stuck in traffic doing housekeeping with my thoughts. Weird huh!

Anyway, I wonder if people change with time. I’ll come back about me later because for now I’m going to list some real life anecdotes (all names withheld, for obvious reasons).

Story 1

A female specimen abandons her first husband to fly across the ocean to spend Christmas with a practical stranger. Someone she has never met before but whom she has gotten to know via emails, online chatting and maybe phone calls. The marriage ended soon after her brief holiday with another man. Ten years down the road and this same person, now remarried, decides to take a holiday, again at Christmas time. Is this normal behaviour? So some people don’t’ change.

Story 2

Someone of the male species marries at a very young age. Still a teenager, he becomes a father. The marriage suffers and ends in divorce. Who would have expected it to last when both parents were so young? Anyway, he meets someone new. He remarries and has another child and again the marriage breaks up. Therefore, some people don’t change.

Story 3

A man looks for a partner who can cook because he loves to eat. He finds her, marries her but do they live happily ever after? No! Good food is not enough to keep two people together. Now this man has remarried someone who can’t cook. Is it working out? Yes, it seems to be so! It’s love that keeps them together. Therefore, some people do change.

Story 4

A married acquaintance preaches about the dangers of pre-marital sex. Her husband goes out of the country to work. She ends up in a relationship with a close friend. The marriage breaks up. She now lives with that close friend in another state. She preaches differently now. Hence some people do change.

Story 5 (me)

Ahem! I’m sure you can’t wait for this.

I used to have the storybook life: police husband, teacher wife, two great kids, car, house, and enough food on the table, an ordinary life. It was all that I could ever want or need. Then the situation changed and me with it. I now know that it’s not enough to live a storybook life.

One doesn’t have to follow all the rules that society dictates. The only absolute law of life is to live it and to change accordingly.

Love is complicated.

Stephen and I live apart.

As can be expected, almost everyone has something to say about it. Even people, who have nothing to do with us, raise their eyebrows and make a face. Some scoff at this arrangement and others just nod or shrug their shoulders because it is just beyond their comprehension that this arrangement is workable. Those that know us, worry that the separate lives we lead will take a toll on us.

It’s curious that if he were an astronaut, no one would think twice about his absence from home. It would be totally acceptable for him to be “away” for months. Since we are just ordinary people, it’s a bone of contention.

Truth be told, there aren’t any questions left that we have not, ourselves, asked of each other. There aren’t any alternatives that we have not analysed and scrutinised.

Truth be told, we don’t owe anyone an explanation.

Nevertheless, I do feel a need to touch on it. In the chance, that someone out there might benefit from knowing about our situation and to give hope to those who don’t or cannot live together yet!

At the outset, I should clarify that the distance between us is not of our own choice. The main and principal reason is Stephen’s mom.

To cut a long story short, in early 2006, she lapsed into a coma and almost died. Doctors told us she would not make it through the week and said we should prepare for the worst. Prior to this, MIL (mother-in-law) lived on her own and relied on her whims and fancies when it came to her pill prescription and nutrition. Having three heart blocks, diabetes and high blood pressure, she didn’t really understand the consequence of not eating healthy food nor of adhering to the medication she needed. When the inevitable happened, after an eating binge, it was no longer feasible for her to live alone. Stephen and his sister decided that she would be better cared for in a nursing home. That she is there is another long story, for another blog.

In any case, it is now 2009 and MIL is alive and doing rather well. Despite the fact that it has been an uphill battle with other interfering family members, that decision to put her there seems to have been the only reason for why she is still living today. Had she been allowed to go home, without a proper dietician to watch her food or a nurse to give her two insulin jabs a day, I sincerely doubt that she would have lived beyond a year, on her own. Whatever is said and done, it is the result that counts. She’s alive and no amount of condemnation from anybody can dispute that.

In this regard, the main and principal reason for us to be apart is my MIL. I write this with no malice at all.

I truly understand that Stephen needs to be near his mom. There is no other sibling around. All the other three are in the US. They are just too far away to be of any significant help for anything or anyone. If Stephen comes to KL, he’d have to shuttle back and forth. Besides, in any emergency, it would take him about 3 to 5 hours to get to her.

Stephen, on the other hand, understands me and of my commitments here. To be brutally frank, we had not anticipated that it would be more than 4 years of this. If he was eventually going to come to KL to retire, there wasn’t a real urgency for me to give up my job and move to Singapore. Of course, that’s all water under the bridge now.

In any case, the last 4 years have not been a total write-off. We’ve been commuting. I am there in Singapore, more than he comes to KL only because there is a need for me to visit with my MIL. If he came here more often, then she would have less of him and me. Since I’m not there, Stephen visits her frequently.

With all the modern technology, we don’t really feel the absence so badly. We “skype” everyday. For those moments, we are seated across each other, at our laptops, and we give each other undivided attention. Sometimes, I’ll have my dinner while he has his or I’m folding the clothes and we talk. I think there are married couples who don’t even talk the way we do. They go about their own ways and only share the same roof.

It’s not the best way for a marriage to be but neither is it the worst. We have many weekends together and every time we are together, it’s just glorious. We carry on from where we last left off and nothing seems untoward or out of place. Maybe it’s just us and our ability to make the most of our situation. Perhaps our personalities allow us to enjoy this kind of arrangement. I don’t say that there aren’t times when the absence can be unbearable. I don’t say, either, that there aren’t times when we wished we didn’t have to say goodbye so often. Yet, many other married people who have ‘normal’ married lives don’t seem to be as happy as we are. People who know Stephen will probably hear the same thing from him as those who know me here. We genuinely are all right with this. We know that it’s not going to be forever. Eventually, we will be together and that hope keeps us going.

There won’t be any regrets on his side if anything should happen to his mom. He is sacrificing his time with Jared and me in order to be as close to her as possible. Jared and I, in our own way also see it as a sacrifice or sorts. At the end of it all, we’ll be able to say we did what we believed was best and made the most of it.

This is the reason why I have loved this mini poster when I first saw it. I feel it totally encapsulates all that I want to say. Very often, I open the file to look at it and it reminds me of what LOVE should be. It also tells me that Stephen is capable of this kind of love. It tells me that it isn’t always easy to love because it’s complicated. It also tells me that when you do know of this kind of love, then your life has been worthwhile.

This post is dedicated to Antares, Hussein and Patricia.